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From Burke, an exercise in antisocial oddness: "You have reached the live psychic hot line. We know who you are and why you are calling, so at the beep, hang up."

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Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?
For office or work purposes, formal greetings are appropriate. That doesn’t mean you need to sound tired or boring and speak in a flat voice. Why not try something different and get motivated by the following greetings? .

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You've reached 737-0275. At the sound of the tone, telephone solicitors will be shot.
A VPN service provider offers the users the means to get anonymous online and protects their data. They offer various packages for their users. Since this is offered online, the customers can contact at any time, literally! Here is an example of a script for a VoIP phone service for practice.

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"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message."
http://www.ezrasvoice.com/ Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings can easily be created using this blueprint. While all Cell Phone Voicemail Greetings will be uniq

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When recording a personalized voicemail greeting on your office phone, your greeting should. A. include only the company name and your extension number. How do I make a personal voicemail greeting? Start with a polite “Hello”. Inform the caller of who you are, and apologize for missing the call. End your script by asking the caller to leave a name and contact number with a brief message. Inform the caller that you will get back to them as soon as possible.

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In this case, the agent shows concern for the customer and wants to serve him in the best possible manner. The agent is also polite and courteous.

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    Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone]. Due to the current pandemic, our team members are working remotely and are available [Monday through Friday from 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time]. Please leave a message with your name, number, and how we can serve you. We will respond as promptly as possible. Thank you for your patience during this unprecedented time. Let’s get through this together. Stay safe and well.

    Telephone English refers to the type of language used when speaking on the telephone in English.There are many specific verbs and phrases used when speaking on the telephone in English.This guided to leaving a message on the telephone provides a step by step guide to leaving a message that will make sure that the recipient returns your call and/or receives necessary information.
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    Get Answering machine Sounds from Soundsnap, the Leading Sound Library for Unlimited SFX Downloads.

    Hello. (pause) Say something!! Aren’t you gonna talk at all? Why aren’t you saying something? Oh, I forgot. I need to say beep…
    3. Top business voicemail messages examples that you can try today for your brand

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    Thank you for calling BusinessCo. Unfortunately, all our Business Representatives are currently attending to other enquiries. Your call is important to us, so please leave your name, phone number and a short message and we will return your call by the end of the business day. Thank you.

    A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you're in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there's a chance they won't appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead.
    You may additionally want to bear in mind that people might be calling you from their cellphones, and a long message can use up someone’s valuable cellphone minutes. Some voicemail systems have the option of pressing a key like the pound key to immediately start recording a message; you may want to consider the funny or long message only if you have this option available to callers. Another point of consideration when recording an answering machine greeting is who is likely to call. If you’re job hunting, for instance, you may want to drop the funny salutation for a while, and use a more standard and businesslike greeting, unless you’re applying for jobs as a comic. Is Amazon actually giving you the best price? This little known plugin reveals the answer. Some answering machines utilize cassette tapes.

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    I have amnesia and can’t come to the phone at the moment. I feel stupid talking to everyone that I don’t know. So why don’t you forget about leaving your original message, and instead tell me my name and something important about myself. Thanks a lot.

    5. Catch their attention: “Hey, there! This is [your name]. Please leave me a message with your name, number, and the reason you’re calling. If you also tell me [insert random fact] I’ll be sure to move you to the top of my call list.
    Well done on recording your new professional voicemail greeting with script! Remember that you can update it again in a few months time. I recommend you open your online diary, choose a date 4 months from now and type in – Update Voicemail Greeting with Speech Active’s Video. Your listening skills and pronunciation will be even better than they are now. Especially if you continue your improvement with one of our tailored online English Pronunciation & Fluency Courses.

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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you’re looking for is a balance between the two. Whenever I call someone and their voicemail greeting is playing, it tells me a lot about who they are, as a person. Which is why, you’ve got to put a little bit of “you” when it comes to voicemail. And the best part about all of this is, since you couldn’t come to the phone, at least the callers are having a good time listening to the message.

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10.) Hello, and welcome to John Doe. For technical reasons we can not take your call personally. Thank you for your understanding. We are working very hard on a solution. If you want, you can leave a message on our homepage www.johndoe.de - Thank you and goodbye.

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8. “Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you’d like to chat, and I’ll get to back to you ASAP.”

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