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If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here are some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.

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We live and work in a fast moving, global business world and first impressions are lasting impressions. Make them count.
1. Call Center Departments. Hello and thank you for calling, [Company Name], where [state your short company slogan]. If you know the extension of the party you are trying to reach, you may dial it at any time. .

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Here, the pet care company leaves multiple options to fulfill the needs of the callers. They also have the option for attending to callers with immediate needs.

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1. State Your Business Name. The first thing your callers should hear is the name of your business or organization. This assures them that they have dialed the right phone number and keeps them on the line.
"Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back."

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14. “Hello, you’ve reached [company]. If you’re looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to hear our lovely voices? Leave your name and number, and we’ll return your call straight away.”

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On hold messages can be recorded for many purposes, such as promoting your business, answering FAQs or announcing important customer service information. It's important to be clear in the message you are trying to get across. Confusion leads to disengagement and reflects badly on the brand. Determining your callers' wait times is necessary to determine the required length of the on-hold message. Making the recording too short can lead to the message being played too many times. This can be repetitive and lose the caller's attention while they hold.

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    As I mentioned above, some words like ‘can’t’ are often mispronounced by non-native speakers and it can sound like a swear word!

    While they are listening to your voice, they are internally deciding whether or not it is worth their time to continue or hang up. Look at your voicemail message as its own short advertisement.
    Length – if your callers typically wait 2 minutes at a time, then at least 2 minutes of programming should be the goal. The idea is to ensure the callers don’t hear repeated messages every time they call. A typical on-hold message is 4-8 minutes in length.

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    7.) Benvenuti alla John Doe DE, il vostro specialista in prodotti campione. Se volete effettuare un ordine, si prega di seguire la procedura di ordinazione nel nostro negozio online www.johndoe.de – Rimaniamo in attesa del vostro ordine. Per ulteriori domande, si prega di contattare il nostro servizio di assistenza tramite e-mail a: [email protected] – vi contatteremo al più presto possibile. Grazie per la vostra chiamata.

    “Hello, you’ve reached the Marketing Department at [XYZ Company]. All of our team members are currently working with other clients to [insert goal] and are unable to take your call.
    Hi, this is Tom, the sales manager at Orlando Powersports. I’m either busy assisting customers, getting ready for our End of Season Sale, featuring deep discounts on our huge selection of power sports equipment and gear or if I’m really lucky, I’m out riding the latest CAN-AM DS 250! Leave a message, and I will call you back as soon as possible. Thanks for calling!

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    "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."

    6.) Benvenuti alla John Doe. A causa di lavori di manutenzione, al momento non possiamo rispondere alla vostra chiamata. Siete invitati a inviarci una e-mail a: [email protected]. I nostri dipendenti risponderanno alla vostra e-mail al più presto possibile. Ci scusiamo per la temporanea limitazione! Ringraziamo per la vostra comprensione!
    5. Offering the Operator First. You’ve reached [Company Name], the [company’s slogan]. Please choose from the following menu options: To speak with the operator, press 0.

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    5.) Добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко». Лично вы можете связаться с нами с понедельника по пятницу с 7 утра до 6 вечера, и по субботам с 10 утра до 13.00. Если вы хотите сделать заказ или задать вопрос, тогда, пожалуйста, оставьте ваше имя, укажите заказчика и номер телефона. Мы вам перезвоним как можно скорее. Вы всегда можете связаться с нами по электронной почте [email protected]. Большое спасибо за ваш звонок – до свидания.

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    4.) Добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко». Вы можете связаться с нами в рабочие часы с понедельника по четверг с 9 утра до 12.00, и с 14.00 до 16.00 часов дня, а также в пятницу с 9 утра до 12.00. Вы можете рассказать нам о вашем вопросе по почте [email protected] и мы свяжемся с вами как можно скорее – Спасибо.

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The above eight rules of engagement for voicemail greetings may sound easy enough, but they’ll require some practice to get just right. Let’s look at some examples to provide some context in how to apply the rules to various types of greetings and situations.

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-(Very long pause) Wait! Please don’t hang up! I want to hear what you have to say.

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-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.

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