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funny phone answering machine messages

9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
When leaving your voicemail and phone number, do not say, "Please call me back at ..." Nothing sounds more like a salesperson making a cold call then saying, "please call me back at...". .

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Basic Voicemail Message Examples: 1. Share basic information: “Hello! You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name], [your job title]. I’m currently either away from my desk or on the other line. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a short message after the beep, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I’m available.” 2.
If the message indicator light on your phone or caller ID unit isn't lighting up, call 800-669-7676, and we can get it activated.

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“Hi there! You’ve reached [XYZ Company]. We are unable to take your call at the moment, but we want to hear what you have to say. Please leave your full name, contact details and reason for reaching out, and one of our staff members will get in touch with you within 24 hours. Thanks!”
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16. "Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven't reached the Sorting Hat — it's the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I'll return your call as soon as possible."

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11.) Bem-vindo a John Doe, infelizmente, você nos ligou fora do horário comercial ou não podemos atender a sua chamada no momento. Se você quiser nos deixar uma mensagem, por favor envie um e-mail para [email protected] - Entraremos em contato o mais rápido possível. Para mais informações sobre nós, por favor visite o nosso site www.johndoe.de. Muito obrigado pela sua ligação.

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    7.) Welcome to John Doe DE, your specialist for sample products. If you want to place an order then please use the ordering process in our online shop www.johndoe.de - We look forward to your order. For all other questions, please contact our service department via email at [email protected] - we will get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you for your call.

    12.) Benvenuti alla John Doe. Potete contattarci dal Lunedì al Venerdì dalle 8am alle 12.30pm e dall’1pm alle 4.30pm. Al momento non possiamo rispondere personalmente alla vostra chiamata. Si prega di lasciare un messaggio con il vostro nome e numero di telefono e vi richiameremo al più presto possibile. Per casi urgenti, potete raggiungerci al numero 0821 91039-1211. Grazie.
    Website: https://grasshopper.com/blog/perfect-voicemail-greetings-10-tips-for-recording-effective-and-professional-messages-plus-examples/

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    “Congratulations! You’ve reached the right person! It’s [your name]. Unfortunately, you’ve called at the wrong time. Please leave a message with all your contact information, and I’ll call you back within 24 hours.”

    18. “Thanks for calling [Company name/your name]. We hope you’re enjoying the holiday season. We aren’t available at the moment due to our holiday hours. Leave your name, number and the reason for your call and we’ll get back to you ASAP! Thanks for calling.” Everyone deserves a break. Let your callers know although you might be enjoying one too, that their needs are important.
    There you have it, a basic introduction into how to write the best voicemail greetings. As you have seen, they’re not as easy as you’d think, but once you get comfortable with the type of information required by each, writing and recording your own should be a piece of cake. If you’ve tried to write one yourself and still don’t ‘feel you’ve captured the right essence, then please look at one of our voicemails greeting templates. When it comes to recording it, remember to rehearse your script and speak clearly. If you don’t care for your own voice, then have someone else record it, or hire a professional voice actor. Remember, there are also free audio editing software programs like Audacity, where you can manipulate your recording until you get exactly what you want.

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    2.) Benvenuti alla John Doe. Purtroppo ci state chiamando fuori dal nostro normale orario di lavoro. Ci potete contattare personalmente dal Lunedì al Venerdì dalle 8am alle 6pm e il Sabato dalle 9am alle 4pm. Si prega di lasciare un messaggio o di inviare una e-mail a: [email protected]. Vi contatteremo al più presto possibile – Grazie.

    Hello, it’s obvious you have bad timing, because nobody is home. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible.
    Thank you for sharing your info. I really appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further post thank you once again.

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    › Url: https://www.marketingmessages.com/media/Sample-Voice-Prompts-For-Healthcare.pdf Go Now

    Our voice mail greeting can provide you a professional image, separating you from your competitors.
    5. Emergency Situation Voicemail Greeting. In the case that your business is closed due to an emergency, it's only worth it to go into detail if the problem is affecting everyone in the area.

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This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

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These work voicemail greetings are for the work phone that you and only you use. They’re highly effective because they help you establish a relationship straight from the voicemail. Or they help you share an important update in a simple, straightforward way.

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We actually know a top insurance sales guy who did a sales motivational message every day just like this, and people used to call just to listen to his thoughts.

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