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When your business is closed for vacation or holidays, it’s imperative that you set appropriate expectations for a callback and to provide an alternative coverage option, if available. The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly.
1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘ double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.'] .

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7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."

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8. Morgan Freeman Shares His Voice for Voicemail Greetings. Morgan Freeman is known for his voice so much that he was asked to play the voice and image of God in Bruce Almighty.
Customizing your outbound voicemail greeting for different callers is just the tip of the iceberg! Sign up today for FREE! Enhanced visual voicemail. Call blocking. Voicemail sharing. Voicemail to email. Voicemail to text. Much more! Sign Up.

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Keep track of missed calls with this AT&T digital answering system. It stores up to 60 minutes of incoming messages and outgoing greetings on a microchip, preserving them in the event of a power outage. This AT&T digital answering system marks each message with the time and date received to support better records.

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Hello, this is (your name). I apologize for not taking your call right now. Leave me a message and wait by your phone till I can call you back.

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    When your small business is closed, ensure that your callers know that! If appropriate, you might want to reiterate your business hours to manage callback expectations.

    Website: http://allowe.com/laughs/book/88 Creative Answering Machine Messages.htm
    You message should convey the same courtesy to your callers as a person would who is speaking to someone in your office. Saying things like "thank you for calling" and "have a nice day", in addition to watching your tone of voice, will help you to represent your office in a compassionate and professional manner.

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    Explain Your Return Call Policy: In your after hours message for the medical office, be sure to state your return call policy for voicemail response. By giving callers an estimate of when they can expect a return call from someone in your office, you can eliminate multiple phone calls from the caller, as well as reduce work for your staff members.

    5. You have reached [your business]. We are currently closed. Our normal hours of operations are from [hours] [days]. We are closed on [days]. Please leave us a message with your name and number and we will return your call when the office reopens. You may hang up after leaving your message or press the [key] for additional options. Thank you for calling.
    2. Interactive Voice Response (IVR) Greeting. The greeting callers hear when they enter your IVR. Sample Scripts: “For English press 1. Para Español presione el número 2.”

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    If you're looking to go all out to give the best possible first impression to your customers, hire a professional voice actor. Our customers love the voices available on Fiverr, a website that matches businesses with creative talent. You can get a professional recording done for as little as $5. If you're looking for a high-end product, check out The Voice Realm which offers the best voice talent on the planet. The quality is astounding.

    Custom Voicemail Greetings: Our pre-recorded on hold messages are available in 9 languages spoken by native speakers. We custom produce highest quality voicemail messages, IVR messages, on hold messages and announcements based on your individual scripts in multiple languages. We are looking forward to your call.
    Leave me a message and wait by your phone till I can call you back. Hey, it’s me. I am home, but really trying to avoid someone I don’t like. So if you’ve left me a message and I haven’t called you back, then it’s probably you. Hi there! (pause) I am (your name)’s answering machine. (Your name) is …

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    4. You have reached [your business]. All of our sales representatives are busy serving other customers but we would like to return your call as soon as possible. For current pricing information or to check the status of your order, please visit us on the web at [your website]. Otherwise, please leave us a message with your name and number after the tone. If you would like to return to the previous menu, press the [key to main menu].

    7. A Classic Hepburn Answering Greeting for Voicemails. Katharine Hepburn’s iconic and feisty voice goes down in history and can add a bit of moxie to your voicemail greeting.
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9. Casual and Formal Answering Machine Greetings - Take Your Pick - Social Mettle. They give to charity through the office and don't need their picture taken.

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Do you have a landline at work? Make sure that all your phones, personal and business, have good clear, professional English voicemail greetings.

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