"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
In this post, I’ll share what makes a good voicemail greeting — and the best voicemail greeting scripts you can use.

Most people screen their phone calls and often avoid answering unknown numbers. If you’re applying for new positions, you should try to view each unexpected call as an exciting opportunity! In the event that you simply can’t pick up the phone, you’ll want a polished voicemail greeting to let the caller know they’ve reached the right person.
The information you provide in your business answering machine greeting can vary depending on your specific needs, though some basic information is common. You should indicate the business that has been reached, including a specific name if you have a personal business number or extension. If the message is for general use, you might indicate that you are unavailable, though a message for use after business hours can provide the caller with regular business hours. You should not, however, use any language that could be taken to indicate that you are busy with a task that is more important than your caller.