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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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4. Include Other Contact Methods. If there are other ways to get in touch with your business, or receive information about your products, you may want to include them in the after hours greeting.
You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day. .

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These are all key areas for clear English Pronunciation. When recordings a voicemail greeting like the one in our sample, it’s essential to “put your best foot forward” (this means to give the best impression possible, or to try your very best). It’s the first impression many people will get of you.
1) Call your telephone number and wait for the system to answer. If the answering system is off, it will answer after about 10 rings and sounds a series of beeps. 2) During the greeting message (or the series of beeps when the answering system is off), press 0 and enter your PIN code within 2 seconds. 3) The answering system announces the number of messages stored in memory. You hear “To play incoming messages, press zero-two. For help, press one zero”. You will hear a beep 4. When you hear beeping, enter a 2-digit command from the chart found in the owner's manual of your particular model. (Command charts vary on model) Note: If you enter an incorrect security code/PIN three times, you will hear a beep and the answering system will return to standby. Find Your Product FAQ Ask A Question Repair Uniden Warranty Newsletter Scanners Home Video Surveillance Baby Monitors Cordless Telephones Marine Radios CB Radios Two Way Radios Business Phones BACK TO ALL ARTICLES BACK Mediacom Phone - Voicemail

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After helping tens of thousands of companies set up voicemail systems, we’ve learned that there is no set of rules defining what makes a great business voicemail, but there are definitely some key points that you should aim to hit. Before you hit the record button for your voicemail message, take some of these tips into account:
1. Personal Business Voicemail Greetings. Hello! You’ve reached (insert company name.) This is (insert name) in the (insert department.) My apologizes for not being available to take your call, but I’m on the line helping another customer (insert business’s most attractive result or purpose point.)

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If the you haven't changed your personal greeting, a default system greeting will be played for callers. For example, "Please leave a message for John Smith. After the tone, please record your message. When you finish recording hang-up or press the pound key for more options."

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    Voicemail Greetings – outgoing message recordings for after-hours voicemail box and when a call can’t be taken.

    A formal voicemail greeting is one with a professional tone. It could be for a business or for personal reasons. Formal voicemail greetings are designed to impart a sense of authenticity. They leave the caller with a sense of trust in your abilities, whatever they may be.
    1. Funny Answering Greeting from Seinfeld. Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.

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    Hello… my name is (your name)’s refrigerator. He/she isn’t home right now to take your call. To leave him/her a message, speak very slowly so I can stick the message with the help of these refrigerator magnets.

    Hi! I’m not here right now, I seem to have broken my tomatoes…You wouldn’t happen to have any tomato paste on you, would ya?
    Funny Voicemail Greetings. Composing these types of greetings are fun, but they aren’t applicable for some situations. You may make a funny voicemail greeting for your own personal voicemail box. However, it’s not appropriate for professional or business phones. Here are some humorous examples for you: You have reached [mention your name].

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    9. “Hi, you’ve reached [your name]. I’m unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number and a short message, I’ll be sure to call back.”

    For pure salaciousness, it's hard to top the tape of "A Single Woman." It says: "Hi. I'm tied up at the moment. Please leave your name and number. I'll call you when I'm freed."
    Professional voicemail greetings for your business cell phone number It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers. There are many reasons why they shouldn’t use their personal cell phone number for business , so you’ll want to give them their own phone number through your VoIP

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    In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Then in 1960, the Ansafone, created by inventor Dr. Kazuo Hashimoto (Phonetel), was the first answering machine sold in the USA.

    “Hey! You’ve reached us here at [XYZ company]. All our team is currently out of the office for the holidays. We’ll be back to work on [date] well-fed and therefore eager to speak with you!
    Voicemail and voice messages are among the top ways every professional business can use to enhance their customer services. Though this idea may sound strange to many in the internet age, this kind of mail is a proven source of solutions for business communications and customer service.

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Say that your prospects want to speak to the sales department and so when they realize that they have reached the right department and hear the voicemail messages, they will be compelled to leave their contact details so that the sales team can reach out to them later. They will be relieved.

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Your personal voicemail greeting should be brief and to the point. State your name and your availability, project a welcoming aura, and ask the caller for whatever information you need from them. Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Mike Downing. I'm not available to answer the phone right now. My office hours are Monday through Thursday, 10 am to 4 pm. Please leave your name and phone number and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks. 2. Company Wide Voicemail Greeting

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Departments and teams are typically organized by function – customer service, tech support, sales, billing questions, etc. When a team is busy handling other calls, encourage your callers to leave a message and reassure them that you will get back to them within a reasonable time frame. It’s important that you actually follow through to avoid upsetting your callers.

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Your voicemail is set up with a default greeting, but you can record a personal greeting any time you want.

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