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Funny Answering Machine & Voicemail Messages In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath.

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And this one (from Brad Lund, of Baltimore) made me giggle loudest and longest: "This is the Lund residence. The answering machine is on vacation. This is the refrigerator speaking. State your message slowly and clearly. I'll write it down and stick it to myself with one of those little magnets."
12.) Benvenuti alla John Doe. Potete contattarci dal Lunedì al Venerdì dalle 8am alle 12.30pm e dall’1pm alle 4.30pm. Al momento non possiamo rispondere personalmente alla vostra chiamata. Si prega di lasciare un messaggio con il vostro nome e numero di telefono e vi richiameremo al più presto possibile. Per casi urgenti, potete raggiungerci al numero 0821 91039-1211. Grazie. .

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"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."
5. “Hi, you’ve reached [company name]. We can’t take your call right now but we will call you back as soon as we’re available. Please leave your name, number and reason for your call. We know your time is precious, so to skip the back and forth, kindly leave a few different times of day that work best with your schedule and we will do our best to reach you then! Have a great day.” This greeting lets your caller know that not only your time is precious, but you realize theirs is as well.

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We’re all familiar with this type of voicemail greeting. Simply put, a caller reaches you by dialing your number or extension directly. For an optimal personal voicemail greeting, be clear about who you are, the team you’re on, and when the caller can expect a callback. Unlike company and department voicemail greetings, you may not be able to configure a greeting for open and closed business hours. If that’s the case, use a general voicemail greeting that accommodates both scenarios.
8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back.

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-If your phone has a gangsta rap ring-back tone, then I might wait for you to answer.

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With the increasing number of businesses engaged in fraudulent activity and personal identity theft, it is no wonder why people are too concerned about who they are dealing business with. There are a lot of things that you can possible do in order to project the perfect image your company needs. From having a professionally looking website up to an appealing office in a great location, the companies that consider growing the client base seriously will do anything they can. But there’s one thing they often miss or really don’t consider: A professionally sounding voicemail greeting.

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    6. Vacation Voicemail Greetings. Hey, this is [your name] at [X company]. I am actually on a break at the moment, on the other side of the world! Please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [X email address].

    Our TIPP: Our prompts configurator helps you find the right voice and also helps you with text suggestions, selection of music and speakers demos. With just a few clicks, you can compile your selection or desired prompt(s) and send it to us.
    Your message is a period of time that they are forced to wait through in order to do what they called to do in the first place — relay information to you.

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    This is a handy feature if you're checking messages away from home. Let's say you're dialing your retrieval number from a neighbor's phone, who also has CenturyLink voicemail. As soon as you hear their voice mail prompts, press * and enter your 10-digit phone number and password to access your mailbox.

    Friends and colleagues speak to each using first names only. So do people of authority. They do not call each other and leave voicemail messages asking for Mister, Miss, or Mrs. Therefore, when you call a person you want to do business with and you leave a voicemail message, refer to them by their first name only. Don't say mister, miss, or misses. Don't say their last name. Begin your voicemail message by saying only "hi/hello" followed by the person's first name. Or, you can even forget the "hi/hello" and just say the person's first name. That is how you show confidence and authority and separate yourself from weak salespeople.
    7. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. Now you say something. Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead.

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    For a medical office, call types may include billing, emergencies, appointments, cancellations, etc. 2. Determine How To Best Route Calls The best method of routing your medical office calls will depend on your office size and budget. If you have a small staff, setting up a standard voicemail greeting system may be a more practical approach. For a larger health organization with multiple departments, it makes more sense to route calls to their intended destinations by using an auto attendant. For example, “If you have a question about billing, press 1. If you’d like to schedule an appointment, press 2. If this is a medical emergency, press 0 for an operator.” If you want every caller or patient to experience a professional and compassionate call, you may consider working with a medical office answering service. You can forward calls to an answering service after business hours, on holidays, during overflow, or any other time you may need help answering calls. 3. Draft A Script

    19. “Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. We are sorry but our office is closed until [date]. Please leave us your name and phone number and our team will get back to you as soon as possible. Enjoy [holiday] and thanks for calling [company name]! If you do happen to be open the holiday season, it’s important to provide holiday hours. Especially if your hours vary from your regular hours.
    A phone message template can be an excellent way to record messages received from various phone calls that come into your business. Knowing how to use your phone message template effectively can go a long way in this process. Nevertheless, the advantages of using a good phone message template cannot be emphasized enough.

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    Unfortunately, not all phone numbers can be dialed: Slydial doesn't work with landline phones, third-party voicemail services, VoIP numbers, or prepaid mobile phones. If you subscribe to one of the premium plans, you can eliminate the ads on the service and send messages to multiple contacts at once.

    9.) Bienvenue chez John Doe. Malheureusement, il n'y a personne dans le bureau à l'heure actuelle. Laissez votre nom et numéro de téléphone après la tonalité. Nous vous rappellerons dès que possible.
    We look forward to serving you so please leave your contact info, details and reason for calling after the beep. We will call you right back!

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4. “Thanks for calling [your company]. We’re looking forward to speaking with you. Let us call you back as soon as we are available by leaving your name, contact information and the reason for your call. Have a great day.” A simple, concise, and, of course, friendly voicemail greeting for your main business line.

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Education Details: A voicemail serves to leave a message and contact information to an individual or business. A voicemail greeting serves to welcome those who call while you are out, encouraging them to leave a message and contact information. A well-crafted voicemail greeting also serves as a tool where one can leave a good first impression.

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1. 15 Professional Voicemail Greetings to Engage Your Callers. Sorry about your luck. If this is an emergency, hang up and call someone who can help you now.

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When recording, choose a quiet area, speak clearly, and use your full name (first and last).

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