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Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back.

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-Hello, this is ________. I’m not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me?
Promote your business to the callers while they're on hold. Inform them of your range of products and services, their benefits and how they can help them. Or just re-enforce your branding with some pleasant background music. .

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If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here are some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.
Make sure you visit the recording practise page where you can record your phrases and perfect them before putting them on your phone.

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For small businesses, there are a variety of voicemail service providers you can use that offer different features. From transcription and voice to text to more convenient features of handling multiple phones through one number, availability varies by service. Shared voicemail and call routing is intended for multiple access and directing calls to one or multiple phones. Mobile apps are also available that allow you to check your messages from your phone. The below infographic outlines the current state and trends of voicemails.
“Hello! You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name], [your job title]. I’m currently either away from my desk or on the other line. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a short message after the beep, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I’m available.”

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With the increasing number of businesses engaged in fraudulent activity and personal identity theft, it is no wonder why people are too concerned about who they are dealing business with. There are a lot of things that you can possible do in order to project the perfect image your company needs. From having a professionally looking website up to an appealing office in a great location, the companies that consider growing the client base seriously will do anything they can. But there’s one thing they often miss or really don’t consider: A professionally sounding voicemail greeting.

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Get professionally recorded messages uploaded to use with features such as Auto Attendant, Business Intro Message and Voice2Email.

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    5. Trekkies Have a Fun Outgoing Message to Use. If you’re a #Trekkie or a #Trekker, this is the best of our funny voicemail greetings. Let Spock deliver your outgoing message to all of your callers.

    17. “Happy Holidays from [company name]. Our hours are a little bit different this holiday season. [List hours]. We hope it’s not an emergency, but if so, we’ve got you covered. Contact us at [company email/other support lines] and we’ll get back to you ASAP. For all other inquiries, we’ll contact you when we are back from the holiday – we might be a few pounds heavier but eager to speak with you! Happy Holidays.” Things happen during the holidays, we know. Let your callers know you are still there just in case!
    6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I'll get back to you. Thank you.

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    We live and work in a fast moving, global business world and first impressions are lasting impressions. Make them count.

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    Call 800-201-4099. A representative will ask you a series of questions to verify your identity, and then will reset your PIN for you.

    1. If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.
    To best assist your callers and effectively route their calls, you will need to classify your call types.

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    Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers.

    Education Details: Hello, this is (your name). I’m sorry but you’ve reached my old number. Call me on (your new number) and I will try to take your call. If you can’t reach me there as well, leave me your name, number, and reason for call. Thank you. These were just some ideas for voicemail greeting.
    The following templates and text ideas can be used for almost any kind of voicemail greeting. You can switch the language of the text blocks by pressing the tab button.

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2.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. Infelizmente você está nos ligando fora do horário comercial. Você pode nos contatar de segunda a sexta-feira das 8:00 às 18:00 e sábado das 9:00 às 16:00 horas. Por favor deixe uma mensagem ou nos envie um e-mail para: [email protected]. Entraremos em contato o mais rápido possível - Obrigado.

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23. "Happy holidays! [I'm, the team at X company is] away until [date]. We'll make sure to call you back straight away when we return. If your request is urgent, email [emergency contact] at [email address]. Thanks, and have a wonderful day."

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Our voice mail greeting can provide you a professional image, separating you from your competitors.

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To set up your voicemail, press *98 from your home phone or call the retrieval number you received with your welcome letter. Voice prompts will guide you through the rest of the steps.

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