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From Burke, an exercise in antisocial oddness: "You have reached the live psychic hot line. We know who you are and why you are calling, so at the beep, hang up."

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Your clients don’t have a lot of time, and neither do you. Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message.
4. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up. .

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6. After-Hour Options. Thanks for calling [Company Name]. Our offices are currently closed. Our business hours are from Monday to Friday 9 AM to 8 PM Eastern Time, and Saturday 9 AM to 12 PM Eastern.
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Looking for a custom Professional Voicemail Greeting for your business or office phone? How about an impressive, professional phone recording for your business cell phone, mobile phone, smartphone, auto attendant, automated receptionist or virtual answering service?It’s extremely important that your voicemail greetings make a great impression when customers call your office phone or business
5. Voicemail Greetings For Vacation. As mentioned above, alerting callers that they won’t be getting an immediate call back is of upmost importance for an entity’s reputation and a caller’s satisfaction.

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“Hi! You have reached [your business]. All of our staff are currently busy helping other callers. We understand how valuable your time is, and rather than keeping you on hold, we will make sure to call you back.Be sure to leave us a detailed message with your name and number. We will return your call within two business hours. Thanks!”

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3. “You’ve reached [company name]. We can’t take your call right now, let us call you back! Please leave us your name, number, the reason for your call and the best time to call you back – we don’t want to miss you again. Talk to you soon.” Let your callers know that you don’t want to miss the chance to speak with them by asking for a convenient time to call them back.

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    6.) Welcome to John Doe. Due to maintenance, we can not take your call at the moment. You're welcome to write an email to [email protected]. Your mail will be answered by our employees as soon as possible. We apologize for the temporary restriction! Thank you for your understanding

    "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
    20. “Hey there! Thanks for calling [company]. We are unable to answer the phone right now but will get back to you right after the holidays. We hope it’s not an emergency, but if so, we’ve got you covered. Contact us at [company email/other support lines] and we’ll get back to you ASAP. Please be sure to leave your name, phone number, and a brief message to let us know the reason for your call. Thank you and have a great day.” Available even during holiday emergencies? Let your callers know via your voicemail greeting.

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    On hold messages can be recorded for many purposes, such as promoting your business, answering FAQs or announcing important customer service information. It's important to be clear in the message you are trying to get across. Confusion leads to disengagement and reflects badly on the brand. Determining your callers' wait times is necessary to determine the required length of the on-hold message. Making the recording too short can lead to the message being played too many times. This can be repetitive and lose the caller's attention while they hold.

    Please leave your name and telephone number after the beep. Thank you for calling. You have reached the office of James Bucki. I can’t take your call right now, but if you leave me a message after the tone, I will return your call as soon as I can.
    2. Hi, I’m not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

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    10. Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.
    As mentioned above, alerting callers that they won’t be getting an immediate call back is of upmost importance for an entity’s reputation and a caller’s satisfaction.

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    Press 3 (Voicemail Preferences) and then press 1 to turn date and time on and off. Turn off the date and time so you don't hear them automatically. When you do need to know, you can press 5 during or after the message. Send group messages

    21. "Hello, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we'll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you're so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]"
    1. The Welcome Greeting. This is the first greeting callers hear when they call your company. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for calling [company name].” “Thank you for calling [company name].

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Avoid using ‘please’ more than once, it gets wordy and redundant. The goal is to keep the content as concise as possible, moving callers quickly and seamlessly through the options.

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In today’s world of digital messaging, email, and text messaging, your business answering machine message might be an afterthought. However, you’d be surprised how many people still prefer to use phones and speak to a person directly or leave a voicemail message that can be returned at a later time.

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Pro Tip: Smile while you’re recording your greeting and your voice will sound pleasant.

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5. Offering the Operator First. You’ve reached [Company Name], the [company’s slogan]. Please choose from the following menu options: To speak with the operator, press 0.

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