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funny answering machine messages you can use

Sound benign and businesslike? That's the whole idea. As Karyn-Ruth explains it, "Bill collectors, the IRS, sales personnel, obscene callers and other obnoxious people think they have reached a business, and therefore the wrong number, and hang up."

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8. “Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you’d like to chat, and I’ll get to back to you ASAP.”
People have short attention spans these days, and you should always craft your communications for the lowest common denominator with something as universal as your voicemail. .

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"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
For sheer directness, this is my favorite: "Leave me a message at the sound of the tone. Then hang up and go away and leave me alone."

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Website: https://theawesomedaily.com/funny-ways-to-answer-the-phone-hello-we-have-plenty/
Home / Uncategorized / 15 Hilariously Funny Voicemail Ideas – Make Yours Like These

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Even better, all these voicemail greetings are free and you can download the voicemail’s mp3 file! Business voicemail greeting samples. If you have a main business phone number that’s shared with the customers or publicly listed, you’ll want to make sure it has a professional voicemail message to greet callers.

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We’ll help you record a great voicemail greeting in English with this Voicemail Greeting sample script and video. If you are looking for work in an English speaking country or already working you need a great voicemail greeting that is professional and gives a good first impression. In the article below I’ll explore further why this is so important!

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    Joe and Serena Toro win the door prize for honesty. For several years after their youngest child went off to college, the Toro tape said: "You have reached the empty nest of Joe and Serena Toro. We can't take your call right now because we are celebrating our freedom. Please leave a message."

    Your voicemail needs to have relevant information such as your name, who the prospects are connecting to, the department you work in, why your not available to assist your prospects, when you will call them and related information, this is what the prospects would prefer hearing instead of dragging the voicemail messages speaking about your brand and more.
    What we read sculpts who we are and dictates the decisions we take. Make the right choice now.* Sales 10 Actionable Ways to Shorten Sales Cycle Stages for SaaS Companies 3 Aircall Alternatives & Competitors to Empower Your Sales Team What Are Inside Sales? For a Beginner Task Management Project Management

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    2.) Welcome to John Doe. Unfortunately you are calling us outside our normal business hours. Personally you can reach us Monday to Friday from 8am 6pm and Saturday from 9am to 4pm. Please leave a message, or send us an email to: [email protected]. We will contact you as soon as possible - Thank you.

    If the you haven't changed your personal greeting, a default system greeting will be played for callers. For example, "Please leave a message for John Smith. After the tone, please record your message. When you finish recording hang-up or press the pound key for more options."
    18. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm away from [date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day."

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    From Burke, an exercise in antisocial oddness: "You have reached the live psychic hot line. We know who you are and why you are calling, so at the beep, hang up."

    Companies use LimeCall to proactively engage with visitors and instantly improve conversions. 30+ Best Business Voicemail Greetings to use in 2020 Table of Contents:Why should you use voicemail for your business?How to create the best voicemail greetings for your business?1. Don’t begin with a standard statement2. Ensure the prospect knows whose voicemail they have reached3. Be apologetic on why you can’t receive the call4. Push your prospects to leave a message5. Inform your prospect when you can reach out to them6. Keep the voicemail short and simple7. Convey only relevant information to your prospects8. Give your prospects any additional options if possibleBest Business Voicemail Greetings examples that you can try today for your brandThe Bottom Line…
    Leave me a message and wait by your phone till I can call you back. Hey, it’s me. I am home, but really trying to avoid someone I don’t like. So if you’ve left me a message and I haven’t called you back, then it’s probably you. Hi there! (pause) I am (your name)’s answering machine. (Your name) is …

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    Sample Voice Prompts for Health Care INTRODUCTION therapy, etc. A well designed auto attendant system can guide patients to the right locations at the right times – and can refer the caller to a web-based map or directions resource. Please leave a message stating your name, phone number and the test you need to make an appointment for

    Hello, it’s obvious you have bad timing, because nobody is home. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible.
    You are living in 2020 and you do realize that your prospects can come to you anytime, which means you need to be catering to them whenever that happens, at 3 am in the morning or even at 11 pm in the night.

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I’ve got you covered. I’ve compiled some of the best voicemail greetings you can use for virtually any situation you’ll come across.

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Your voicemail doesn’t have to be monotonous or impersonal. What you need is something that is unique to you but works in a professional manner. Professional voicemails are important, because they’re an extension of your personal brand, reflecting what level of professionalism you offer. Use these voicemail greetings for work or personal cell phone messages …

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23. Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. We are currently closed. Our office hours are Monday through Friday, from [x time] to [x time] [time zone]. Please visit our website at [company website URL] for more information, or leave us your name, phone number, and the reason for your call and we will get back to you on [X day]. Thank you for calling [X company].

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Rehearse or write down your message before recording it. Remember that old saying “practice makes perfect?” It’s certainly true when it comes to creating an electronic greeting. The more you’ve rehearsed, the easier the message will be to restate. If you don’t have time to practice, writing down the greeting before recording it – and then reading it aloud from the paper – may help you stay focused on the correct wording.

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