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Website: http://www.skywriting.net/inspirational/humor/answering_machine_messages.html

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Education Details: Professional Greetings . When to use a professional greeting: If you don't know the person well, it is best to use Mr., Ms., or Dr. as an appropriate business letter salutation. If you have any doubts about which greeting you should use, err on the side of caution and use the more formal style of address.
You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best: .

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When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off.
You have reached the voice mail box of (your name). If you’re a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message at the tone. If your one of (your name)’s friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If you’re not hot and not one of (your name)’s friends, call back when you are. Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call.

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I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you’re from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.
Rewind to hear something again by pressing 1. Press 11 (or 1 twice) to rewind to the beginning of a message, 33 (or 3 twice) to skip to the end.

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Top 7 business voicemail greetings. 1. Hi, you’ve reached [ you name] of [ your business ]. I’m sorry that I’m not available to answer your call at the present time. Please leave your name, number and a quick message at the tone and I’ll forward your message to the appropriate person. 2.

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“Hi there! You’ve reached [XYZ Company]. We are unable to take your call at the moment, but we want to hear what you have to say. Please leave your full name, contact details and reason for reaching out, and one of our staff members will get in touch with you within 24 hours. Thanks!”

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    12. “Hi, you’ve reached [company]. Unfortunately, we’re currently unavailable. But we want to talk to you — so please leave your name and number, as well as your reason for calling, and someone will call back ASAP.”

    Our video covers just one voicemail greeting example. There are 1000 different ways to do this. As explained above, we have carefully chosen this script for non-native English speakers. We’ve chosen it because the words chosen are likely to be easy for most non-native speakers to pronounce. So in our experience, this is the best voicemail greeting script! make sure you use the correct word stress in the multi-syllable words in your voicemail greeting.
    Hello, you have reached the firm of real estate agent X. I am currently in a meeting with a client, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Kindly leave your name, your reason for calling and your contact number so that I can get back to you at the earliest. If there is any kind of urgency, you can get in touch with me at Y number.

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    36. Hello. You’ve reached the office of [your name] at [your company]. I will be out of the office from [date] to [date]. Please leave your contact information with a brief message, and I will call you back as soon as I have the chance. If you need to speak with someone urgently, please contact [name of colleague] at [email or phone number]. Thanks for calling.

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    For office or work purposes, formal greetings are appropriate. That doesn’t mean you need to sound tired or boring and speak in a flat voice. Why not try something different and get motivated by the following greetings?

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    A real estate agent plays an important role in handling various real estate issues, finalizing deals with clients and the real estate developer etc. Direct dealing with people is the main thing in this profession.

    4. Vacation Day Voicemail Greeting. If your business is off for a holiday, it's a common courtesy to update your voicemail to acknowledge the closure. Mention the closure in the beginning of the message, convey when your business is reopening, and don't forget to wish the callers a happy holiday if the occasion calls for it.
    Callers don’t have the luxury of seeing the script laid out in front of them while they’re listening to the various menu options. With this in mind, it’s important to use language that’s easy for callers to comprehend the first time they hear it.

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    Website: http://allowe.com/laughs/book/88 Creative Answering Machine Messages.htm

    Good day. You’ve reached the residence of the O’Meara family on 5th and Oak. We regret not being able to attend to your call. However, if you choose to, you may leave your contact information at the tone, and we shall be most happy to return your call as soon as we are able. Thank you for your call. Include the name of the individual, family or business State you are sorry you cannot get to the phone Ask them to leave their contact information behind Thank them for their call Informal Voicemail Greetings
    LEVEL 6, BRILLIANT SOLITAIRE, SCHEME No 78 PART 2, VIJAYNAGAR, INDORE (M.P.) – 452010 IN P: +91 731 6725516 | M: [email protected]

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3. Offer Clear Next Steps. For many small businesses, the announcement will send the caller straight to a voicemail box. But larger organizations may decide to direct callers to a phone menu or forward the call to an external destination, depending on the situation.

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28. Hey, there. You’ve reached [your name]. Please leave me a brief message about the reason you are calling and your contact information. I will call you right back at the earliest opportunity. Have a nice day!

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Hi. This is [Name] from [Business Name]. We are currently involved in a relocation. Our new office will be open for business on March 21st, 8 am to 9 pm, Central Standard Time. You may contact us at that time at 555-555-2343. Thank you for your call.

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Here’s another funny one for those times you really want to lighten the business mood:

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