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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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Home » Lists » 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages
There is no definitive answer here, but you should include one of the two at the beginning of your message based on what makes the most sense. .

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14. "Hello, you've reached the Sales Department at [Company name]. All of our representatives are currently helping clients [insert goal such as, 'achieve 40% growth through streamlining HR operations'] and are unable to take your call. Please leave your name, company, and phone number and we'll give you a call back ASAP. Thank you!"
Hi, this is (your name). I’m not available at the moment. Leave me your name, number, and reason for call after the beep. If this can’t wait, call my secretary at (her cell or desk number).

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Hi. You have reached [Business Name]. Our offices are currently closed for the holiday season. We shall return on January 2, 2020, working office hours from 9 am to 5 pm, Monday thru Friday, closed Saturday and Sunday. Until then, please leave a short message and number, or email address, and we’ll get back to you shortly. Thank you for calling.
Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts

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To set up your voicemail, call the access number from your welcome letter or try #55, *68, or *98. If you don't have a welcome letter, contact us to get your access number.

  • why is my voicemail in a different language

    (From my Japanese friend in Toronto) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!

    Even if you have this feature, it can only be used to send messages to contacts with the same carrier as you. So Verizon customers can send voice messages only to other Verizon customers, for example.
    2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow.

  • recorded message for business answering machine

    Below are examples of excellent professional voicemail greetings for various situations to help you get started in creating your own perfect greeting! For each, we’ve included helpful tips, a sample voicemail greeting script, and an audio recording. The greetings are grouped by company greetings, department / team greetings, and personal business greetings. These greetings are likely longer than what you would want to use in real life – but our goal is to help you generate ideas to help you create your own!

    Hello, it’s obvious you have bad timing, because nobody is home. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message in a voice similar to mine, and your call will be returned as soon as humanly possible.
    4. Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

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    Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message. 6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief …

    In order to ensure customer satisfaction, it is not only important how a business records their outgoing voicemail greeting, but also how they respond to incoming messages. It has been reported that most individuals do not mind leaving voicemail messages, but they can often become frustrated and disheartened when a business does not return their call in a timely manner or ignores the voicemail altogether.
    Hi there! (pause) I am (your name)’s answering machine. (Your name) is not here at the moment. So, why don’t we chat for sometime? beep

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    13. "Hello, you've reached [company]. If you're looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to chat with our team? Leave your name and number, and we'll return your call straight away."

    Donald G. Gould, of Northwest Washington, is nothing if not au courant. Here's his message: "Hello. You have reached {the phone number} in the nation's capital, a city now permanently on the Dole and where even the best periodontist cannot cure Gingrichitis. Please leave your message."
    Website: https://techboomers.com/t/record-change-android-phone-voicemail-greeting

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5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number].

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Hi there! You’ve reached [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings!] We’re away at the moment but please leave your name, number, and let us know how we can help you. We’ll make sure the right team gets back to you within [the next 24 hours]. We appreciate your call. Thank you.

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When you want callers to leave a message, make sure your voicemail greeting indicates that. Be sure to keep your greeting short and direct, and include the info you want to capture.

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From the strange to the suggestive: An Arlington woman uses this message, recorded in a sexy, low voice: "You know what I want. Give it to me."

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