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Hello. Oh hi, how are you? It has been so long. How have you been? We have to meet this weekend. How about I call you around… beep.

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STANDARD VOICEMAIL MESSAGE FOR ALL OTHER CMSD PHONES: • Every CMSD desk telephone and cell phone must be equipped with a voicemail greeting that is professional and concise and that conveys relevant and useful information to the caller. • All desk/cell phone voice mail greetings should include: o Name of employee. o Title of employee.
The voicemail greeting is an important element of your business’ phone system because it is often the first impression of your business that customers will have. Creating a really good voicemail greeting is a unique opportunity that you can use to impress customers by putting your best face on, while increasing the chances that you’ll retain their business in those times when … .

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39 Humorous and Witty Voicemail Greetings. Oct 28, 2015. Jan 7, 2014 by Brandon Gaille. Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time.
Voicemail Greetings – outgoing message recordings for after-hours voicemail box and when a call can’t be taken.

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Business Plans Customer Service Digital Marketing Get Money Messages & Wishes Human Resource Marketing and sales Office Setup
Over 1,000 pre-licensed on hold music tracks available to complement your professional phone messages!

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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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If you have a main business phone number that’s shared with the customers or publicly listed, you’ll want to make sure it has a professional voicemail message to greet callers. Here are sample greetings you can use to help you craft your own.

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    Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – The Work From Anywhere Business Phone System]. Our office is closed until [Monday, January 25th for the holiday weekend]. If your call is urgent, please contact [Anya at 212-555-1212 or [email protected]]. Otherwise, please leave a message and we’ll get back to you as soon as we return. We value your call. Thank you from everyone at [LinkedPhone].

    Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn’t lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don’t worry,
    22.Hello, you’ve reached [X company]. Unfortunately, we can’t answer your call right now. But your call is very important to us — so please leave us your name, phone number, and the reason for your call and someone from our team will get back to within [X number] business days .

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    A relatively unprofessional one — like mine, for instance — does the opposite: It encourages prospects, recruiters, and potential connections to run in the other direction.

    On hold messages can be recorded for many purposes, such as promoting your business, answering FAQs or announcing important customer service information. It's important to be clear in the message you are trying to get across. Confusion leads to disengagement and reflects badly on the brand. Determining your callers' wait times is necessary to determine the required length of the on-hold message. Making the recording too short can lead to the message being played too many times. This can be repetitive and lose the caller's attention while they hold.
    Callers don’t have the luxury of seeing the script laid out in front of them while they’re listening to the various menu options. With this in mind, it’s important to use language that’s easy for callers to comprehend the first time they hear it.

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    Recognize Their Need. When someone calls your business, the voicemail should give them a sense of validation. This means that your voicemail should extend gratitude for their interest in your business, or an apology for not being there to answer your call. These two simple courtesies can go a long way in the creation or establishment of client/business trust. Make it Informative for the Caller. Your voicemail must include all the information the customer will need for your particular business. For instance, if you’re a brick and mortar establishment, it’s wise to include your store hours. It’s also a good idea to leave them an alternate way to contact you, especially if it’s after hours. After all, you don’t want to miss just one potential customer. Here are some suggestions for elements to include in your voicemail: Business name Hours (if brick and mortar) Alternate method of contact, such as email Your name

    To change the number of times your phone rings before voicemail answers, please contact us and a representative will set your ring cycle.
    Save time with Call Return. Press 88 after listening to a message to automatically dial the number of the person who called. (This feature will not work if the caller has Caller ID Blocking.) Reply to or forward messages

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    Mom… Dad. I know you are mad that I’m never home to take your calls. So, as a solution to this, I think you guys should give me an early birthday present: a cell phone. beep.

    Generally, people that call and leave messages are more likely to be ideal customers of your business. Your voicemail message is often not much more than a formality to the person calling.
    Length – if your callers typically wait 2 minutes at a time, then at least 2 minutes of programming should be the goal. The idea is to ensure the callers don’t hear repeated messages every time they call. A typical on-hold message is 4-8 minutes in length.

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"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."

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What happens here is when you apologize and sound genuine in your tone, your prospects would understand and leave their contact details for you to follow with them.

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Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings!]. You’ve reached us outside of business hours. Please select from one of the following options: [for business hours press 1; to leave a message press 2; if this is an emergency, press 0 to be directed to our 24-hour customer success team.] We are grateful for your call and we look forward to speaking with you soon!

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The Voice Memos app can also be used to record a voice message. You then tap the ellipsis icon and open the Share pane to find the correct destination.

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