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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:
Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me. .

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To use a different greeting you already recorded or switch back to the default greeting: On your Android device, open the Voice app . At the top left, tap Menu Settings. In the Voicemail section, tap Voicemail greeting. Next to the greeting you want to use, tap More Set as active.
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Thank you for your message. I am away from the office leading a workshop Dec. 1–4. I will be checking email throughout the day and will try to respond to messages promptly (please flag urgent messages as high importance). However, if you need immediate assistance, please contact Johnny Woo at [email protected] or 465-555-1098.
5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number].

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Record and play the message while the caller is waiting to be connected. An excellent way to professionally introduce your business to the callers and set it apart from the competitors.

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7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.

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    In this quick guide, we’ll take a look at what makes a good business voicemail greeting, breaking it down into the elements that every voicemail greeting should contain.

    Good day, you have reached the office of [Name]. I’m away for the weekend. If you require my immediate assistance, please call 555-555-2345. Otherwise, if this is a casual call, please leave your name, number and a brief message, and I’ll get back to you on Monday.
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    6. samplemessages.com. Please give us a good call back number and you should receive a call within 20 minutes during our office hours of on weekdays. If you're calling during our non-office hours, after 5 pm or on weekends, please leave a detailed message about the problem you are experiencing and we'll have a plumber call back as soon as possible with an estimate for response time.

    Here, the DUI lawyer ensures the clients are assured of help at the earliest and to tackle emergency situations he/she offers an alternate number.
    With the increasing number of businesses engaged in fraudulent activity and personal identity theft, it is no wonder why people are too concerned about who they are dealing business with. There are a lot of things that you can possible do in order to project the perfect image your company needs. From having a professionally looking website up to an appealing office in a great location, the companies that consider growing the client base seriously will do anything they can. But there’s one thing they often miss or really don’t consider: A professionally sounding voicemail greeting.

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    19. "Hello, you've reached [your name]. I'm currently [exploring Asia, hiking through the jungle in Costa Rica, hanging out on the beach in Bermuda] — or more likely, [recovering from extreme jet lag, googling ‘Are red spiders poisonous,' or looking for SPF 150 sunscreen] and won't be back in the office until [date]. Leave your contact info and reason for calling and I'll get in touch then."

    1. "Hi, you've reached [your name] at [your company]. I'm unavailable right now — probably helping [type of company] get [X results, e.g. ‘double their leads in 60 days,' ‘hire the best and brightest engineers,' ‘convert 40% more customers.'] Leave your name and number, and we'll discuss how your company can see similar results."
    Education Details: Our final sample voicemail greeting for business is the one to use when you want to discourage someone from leaving a message, for example, when you are fielding inquiries from job applicants. We hope that you have found these voicemail greetings for business informative, if not outright usable for your purposes!

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    › Url: https://smith.ai/blog/28-business-voicemail-greetings-for-main-office-and-personal-numbers-formal-informal-modern-and-just-hilarious Go Now

    A voicemail and voicemail greeting are two different things. A voicemail serves to leave a message and contact information to an individual or business. A voicemail greeting serves to welcome those who call while you are out, encouraging them to leave a message and contact information. A well-crafted voicemail greeting also serves as a tool where one can leave a good first impression.
    "You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message."

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10.) Hola y bienvenido/a a John Doe. Por razones técnicas no podemos atender su llamada personalmente. Gracias por su comprensión. Estamos trabajando para encontrar una solución. Si lo desea, puede dejar un mensaje en nuestra página web www.johndoe.de. Gracias y hasta pronto.

how to change the language on your voicemail

6. Adele Sings Hello as an Outgoing Phone Message. A great way to incorporate a fun voicemail greeting in today’s age is re-writing the lyrics to a current billboard topping hit. Ellen DeGeneres did just that when she asked Adele for a little favor; to …

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Not only did mobile phones make home phones unnecessary for many, but the ability to send and receive text messages or emails on a smart phone made calls themselves feel unnecessary. Even in many workplaces, answering the phone is now either impossible due to nonstop time demands or discouraged by company cultures that prioritize digital

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