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"Look, I've had a really bad day. Yesterday too. And tomorrow doesn't look nearly as good. But, uh, if you want, go ahead and say a few words after the gunshot."

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"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
Communication » Messages & Wishes » 36+ Witty Voicemail Greetings ideas 36+ Witty Voicemail Greetings ideas. Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. -So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to .

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Unexpected crises like COVID-19 can occur at any time. Here are a few example business voicemail scripts you can adapt for those unanticipated events. It’s important to incorporate key information that your clients need to know. You should also add a human touch by expressing your goodwill for them and their families.
Website: https://classroom.synonym.com/christian-ideas-for-voice-mail-messages-12082608.html

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3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]."
Looking for a custom Professional Voicemail Greeting for your business or office phone? How about an impressive, professional phone recording for your business cell phone, mobile phone, smartphone, auto attendant, automated receptionist or virtual answering service?It’s extremely important that your voicemail greetings make a great impression when customers call your office phone or business

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Alternative services exist, but most voice-broadcasting services don't offer free service, and most focus on messaging dozens or hundreds of contacts at a time.

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Hi, you have reached …. Please leave your name, phone number and a message and if we like it we will return your call.

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    16. "Hmm. Gryffindor … No, Ravenclaw. Yes, you definitely belong in Ravenclaw. *Pause.* Okay, you haven't reached the Sorting Hat — it's the voicemail of [your name]. Please leave your name and number (and just for fun, the Harry Potter house you think you belong in) and I'll return your call as soon as possible."

    Website: https://www.macrynvoicegreetings.com/macryn-voicemail-greetings-sample-scripts/
    5. Voicemail greetings for holidays. Your customers might need you on the holidays. If you’re a business owner, you know this already. 🙂 Manage customer expectations and let them know how to get assistance.

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    What’s more, according to WP Beginner, “more than 88% of local searches on mobile devices end up in a phone call,” so you don’t want to be caught off guard when a customer calls!

    With music and messaging that appeals to your target market, you will captivate your audience. Your Message On Hold program can be more than a time filler for callers waiting, it can be an informative, entertaining, and educational tool. With the right content, callers will not only stay on hold, but will have an emotional reaction to your message.
    Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU. Leave a message.

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    Whether it’s an out-of-stock product, a canceled event, or social media snafu, there are times when your business may see an influx of frustrated callers. While it is important to address their concerns head-on, you may not be able to answer each call as it’s received. Make sure you use best practices for dealing with angry customers, and that your voicemail greeting sets the appropriate tone. Avoid defensive language, validate their concerns, and keep them informed as to how you are handling the situation.

    You’ve reached the (name) family. We can’t answer your call right now. So why don’t you leave your name, age, sex, height, weight, phone number, a short message, your social security number, credit card number, how many kids you have, your mother’s maiden name, along with the date and time you called us. And if you’ve survived this message and are still listening, your message better be important.
    Education Details: The business voicemail messages and greeting are frequently changed to suit your specific type of business. It is good for the business owner to know exactly what the clients would like to hear if they do not get hold of a person on the phone. Operating hours should be clearly stipulated. Below is a sample of greetings and voicemail for

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    How's this for definite and sure-footed? "Hi. I'm glad you called. At least I think I'm glad you called. In fact, why don't you leave your name, and then I'll know for sure if I'm glad you called?"

    Use the following short voicemail greetings to get to the point quickly and invite them to leave a message. 6. "Hi, this is [your name]. I'm either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief …
    STANDARD VOICEMAIL MESSAGE FOR ALL OTHER CMSD PHONES: • Every CMSD desk telephone and cell phone must be equipped with a voicemail greeting that is professional and concise and that conveys relevant and useful information to the caller. • All desk/cell phone voice mail greetings should include: o Name of employee. o Title of employee.

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My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.

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The standard default house phone voicemail or answering machine sound effectFree Download: https://uptona.com/wW2GLPQ6Subscribe for more Sounds!http://bit.ly

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Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone – Where Freedom Rings!]. You’ve reached us outside of business hours. Please select from one of the following options: [for business hours press 1; to leave a message press 2; if this is an emergency, press 0 to be directed to our 24-hour customer success team.] We are grateful for your call and we look forward to speaking with you soon!

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OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.

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