If you have a main business phone number that’s shared with the customers or publicly listed, you’ll want to make sure it has a professional voicemail message to greet callers. Here are sample greetings you can use to help you craft your own.
"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."

One of the chief considerations in recording an answering machine greeting is your audience. Who will be listening to your answering machine or voicemail salutation? Is this a business line or a home phone line? Furthermore, just how much information do you want to give out to potential strangers, like telemarketers, who may be calling your home? Long answering machine greetings may be inconvenient for callers.
To set up your voicemail, press *98, *68, or #55 (varies by location) from your home phone or call the retrieval number you received with your welcome letter. Voice prompts will guide you through the rest of the steps.