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9. This is Dan Cassidy’s answering machine. Please leave your name and number, and after I’ve doctored the tape, your message will implicate you in a federal crime and be brought to the attention of the FBI.
This is an answering machine. This is the nineties. You know what to do. 59. You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep. 60. This is a boring answering machine message. Leave a message anyway. [Use to keep people from calling at odd hours to hear your latest exciting message.] 61. .

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Sorry I wasn’t able to take your call, but please leave your name and a detailed message and I’ll get back to you.
As you can see by reading our article on how to write the best voicemail greetings, they’re a bit more complex than one might imagine. There are important elements that cannot be left out, as to do so could cost you valuable business contacts. We realize this, so have included a selection of more funny, professional, and personal greeting examples, in MS Word and PDF format. By using these voicemail greetings, you’ll be well on your way to craft a greeting that will be pleasant to hear, provide the correct information, as well as requesting the correct information.

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Weren’t these messages funny and wacky for your machine. Of course, you have to be a bit careful as to what you say and record on your machine. You don’t want to offend anyone or say something that might upset your listeners. So be absolutely sure. And, if you have any more voicemail ideas, do let us know by leaving a comment below. Till then, I’d like to… beep.
Are you a "Gone With the Wind" fan? Then you'll want to copy this one, which Anne S. Kight has been using on her home machine for years. In the background, you hear the swelling overture from GWTW. After a few seconds, a gently accented southern voice says: "As God is my witness, I simply cannot come to the phone right now. So please leave a message, and I'll call you back -- tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!"

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7.( مرحبا بكم في JohnDoe، اختصاصي المنتجات. إذا كنتم تريدون أن تضعوا طلبكم يرجى استخدام عملية الطلب في متجر www.johndoe.de على الانترنت - إننا متطلعون إلى طلبكم. لمزيد من الأسئلة، يرجى الاتصال بفريق خدماتنا عبر البريد الإلكتروني [email protected] - سوف نتصل بكم في أقرب وقت ممكن. نشكركم على اتصالكم.

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Hey, it’s me. I am home, but really trying to avoid someone I don’t like. So if you’ve left me a message and I haven’t called you back, then it’s probably you.

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    16. “Hello, you’ve reached [your name, the office of X company]. The team is currently out of the office, but we’ll be back on [date] stuffed with good food and eager to speak with you. Leave your name, number, and — if you’re so inclined — your favorite [holiday dish, Thanksgiving tradition, etc.]”

    25.Thank you for calling [X company Company name]. Our representatives are currently unable to take your call as they are helping clients achieve [X goal]. We don’t want to take up your valuable time, so please leave us your name, phone number and message after the beep and one of our representatives will personally assist you within the next 24 hours. Have a wonderful day.
    Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.

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    How do I change my voicemail greeting on Android? Open the Phone app . Press and hold “1” to call your voicemail. Enter your PIN and press “#”. Press “*” for the menu. Press “4” to change settings. Press “1” to change your greeting. Follow the recorded instructions. Access your main voicemail menu. Listen for instructions to enter your password. From the main menu press 3 for Personal Options. Press 2 for Greetings. Press 1 to Change Greeting. Press 1 to Record personal greeting or press 2 to select the standard greeting. Tap on Call settings and select Voicemail. Tap on Voicemail service and select My carrier or My operator. Tap on Setup, select Voicemail number and type in your voicemail number. Tap on OK in the Voicemail number changed popup.

    2.( مرحبا بكم في .JohnDoe للأسف أنتم تتصلون بنا في وقت خارج ساعات العمل الاعتيادية. يمكنكم الاتصال بنا من الاثنين إلى الجمعة من الساعة 08:00 صباحا إلى6:00 مساءا، ويوم السبت من 09:00 صباحا إلى 4:00 مساءا. يرجى ترك رسالة أو إرسال بريد
    20. "Hey there, this is [your name] from [your company]. I'm out of the office until [date]. In the meantime, please direct your inquiries to [coworker's name] at [email address]. They can also be reached at [phone number]. Thank you."

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    89 Church Bulletin Bloopers (to Make You Smile)Useless Facts [140+ Facts You Can Impress Your Friends]Things to Ponder [66 hilarious things to ponder about!]21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) MessagesIf Microsoft Built Cars17 Weird Library Reference QuestionsEmployees must stop crying before returning to workCursed McDonald’s Fries Cosplay36 Stuff To Ponder [They are all weird and hilarious]Men to the left because women are always right

    2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it's not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day."
    › Url: http://education.ohio.com/cgi-bin/content/view.php?data=sample_answering_machine_scripts&filetype=pdf&id=0cb81d48f8509403cfb719100c7b90bc Go Now

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    These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone. It's always a good idea to let callers know exactly when their calls may be returned and to list the operating hours.

    15. “Hi, Thanks for giving us a call! Sorry, but we are closed right now. Please leave us your name, number and the best time to reach you and we’ll get back to you within the day. Thank you.”
    9.) Herzlich Willkommen bei der Mustermann GmbH. Leider ist unser Büro zur Zeit nicht besetzt. Bitte hinterlassen Sie uns nach dem Signalton Ihren Namen und Ihre Telefonnummer. Wir rufen Sie gerne zurück.

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9. Outgoing Message with Samuel L. Jackson Treatment. Stephen Colbert asked Samuel L. Jackson to record his infamous voice on his outgoing message recording.

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Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If you’re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages below.

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A DUI attorney needs to be available on urgent notice as the clients can get mired into specific charges anytime, anywhere. Let us analyze how the ideal attorney voicemail scripts should be.

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Education Details: business hours greetings. Answer incoming calls during normal hours with a custom phone greeting specific to your business with routing options to particular departments or employees, or just give callers the information they need. after hours voicemail business greetings. Let callers know that your business is closed but their call is still

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