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Funny Answering Machine Messages Sample Messages Funny answering machine messages are basically messages that are recorded in an answering machine and are intended to deliver a humorous punch to the Sample Funny Answering Machine Messages: " You have reached the voicemail of God! Now try and humor me or stop wasting my time!

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If you've forgotten your retrieval number, call 800-244-1111 to get it. Alternately, the number was included in the welcome letter you received when you signed up for voicemail service.
Note: To enable visual voicemail, ask your admin to make sure you are enabled for Exchange Unified Messaging, following instructions in the Configure Skype for Business Cloud Connector Edition guide. Missed call and message notifications .

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Hi. This is [Name] from [Business Name]. We are currently involved in a relocation. Our new office will be open for business on March 21st, 8 am to 9 pm, Central Standard Time. You may contact us at that time at 555-555-2343. Thank you for your call.
These were just some ideas for voicemail greeting. You can definitely include your own creativity to them and make them your personal answering machine greeting. The choices are endless when you start thinking of how to add some oomph to your machine.

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When I was in my 20s, I had an answering machine with a 30 second outgoing message tape. I thought it would be fun to come up with all sorts of cute or funny messages for my friends to hear just before the beep. It got pretty elaborate sometimes, with celebrity impersonations and movie spoofs and other things. I didn't usually get many important phone calls anyway, so I didn't see any harm in being funny for the few people who did call.
5. Be Brief. The best after hours greetings are brief, direct, and punctual. Do not waste the customer's time and give them a reason to hang up by adding in unnecessary details.

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If you know the extension of the person you wish to reach, please enter it now." "To speak with the operator, press 0 at any time." "For Sales, press 1." "For Technical Support, press 2." "For Billing, press 3." "For information about our company, press 4." "To leave us a message, press 5." "Or to repeat these options, press 6."

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Get professionally recorded messages uploaded to use with features such as Auto Attendant, Business Intro Message and Voice2Email.

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    2. "Hi, you've reached [name] at [company]. If you need a quick response, please shoot me an email at [insert email address] and I'll be in touch by EOD tomorrow. If it's not urgent, leave me a message with your name and number. Have a great day."

    Call 800-244-1111, and a representative will verify your identity and reset your PIN for you.
    Hello, you have reached X (service provider). Unfortunately, all our agents are engaged in talking to other customers. You can stay online or to resolve something urgent, try our live chat service. You also have the option of leaving your name, ID and number and our agents will revert to you at the earliest.

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    10.) Hello, and welcome to John Doe. For technical reasons we can not take your call personally. Thank you for your understanding. We are working very hard on a solution. If you want, you can leave a message on our homepage www.johndoe.de - Thank you and goodbye.

    Length – if your callers typically wait 2 minutes at a time, then at least 2 minutes of programming should be the goal. The idea is to ensure the callers don’t hear repeated messages every time they call. A typical on-hold message is 4-8 minutes in length.
    4. You have reached [your business]. All of our sales representatives are busy serving other customers but we would like to return your call as soon as possible. For current pricing information or to check the status of your order, please visit us on the web at [your website]. Otherwise, please leave us a message with your name and number after the tone. If you would like to return to the previous menu, press the [key to main menu].

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    1.) Herzlich willkommen bei der Mustermann GmbH. Leider ist das Büro derzeit nicht besetzt oder Sie rufen ausserhalb der Geschäftszeiten an. Sie können aber gerne eine Nachricht hinterlassen, oder eine Email an [email protected] schreiben. Vielen Dank für Ihren Anruf.

    Some people are more interested in recording an answering machine greeting that gives just the bare minimum of information. Such a greeting might be: “You’ve reached 555-5555. Please leave a message and we’ll get back to you soon.” What this salutation may lack in imagination, it may make up for in personal security, especially if you’re getting calls from telemarketers. Note that you don’t give your name, don’t reveal who lives in your home, and don’t say that you’re not at home. Occasionally thieves do call a home to verify the person’s presence at home or lack thereof. You’re essentially not committing to anything but your phone number in this kind of message, and the short message is likely to please cellphone callers. An answering machine greeting for a home business could be used to promote products, such as makeup.
    In this post, I’ll share what makes a good voicemail greeting — and the best voicemail greeting scripts you can use.

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    7. The Top 10 Best Answering Machine Messages. Now you say something. Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead.

    39 Humorous and Witty Voicemail Greetings. Oct 28, 2015. Jan 7, 2014 by Brandon Gaille. Recent trends in voicemail have leaned towards the desire for many individuals to relate on other forms of digital message than traditional voice mails. More individuals have not set up their voice message nor return calls in a decent amount of time.
    -Hello, caller. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to leave your name, number, and a short message after the tone. This message will self destruct. BOOM! (not followed by a beep)

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One of the most challenging aspects of writing for speech is optimising text to be read aloud and recorded. On paper, long, complex sentences are easily accommodated. When read out aloud, the same sentences can sound awkward and confusing.

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As a bonus, here is an example of our own holiday voicemail greeting here at OpenPhone:

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