True emergencies - such as extraordinary weather - should be addressed in your voicemail if it impacts your business. Thank you for calling the Carona Surf Shop. We are currently closed due to the inclement weather. Our normal business hours are Monday through Saturday, 10 am to 9 pm. Please visit www.caronasurfshop.com to order merchandise and to check our schedule during the hurricane.
Hello! Thanks for calling [LinkedPhone’s Customer Success Team]. We are currently helping other customers achieve their goals and want to do the same for you! Please leave a message with your name, number, and a brief description of how we can serve you. We promise to return your call [before close of business today]. In the interim, you can also check out our website at [linkedphone.com] for helpful answers to our most common requests. Thank you.

The machine answering this message is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to this small kitten. (Sound of a kitten meowing.) If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and fry the kitty. The choice is YOURS! The President is not in his office at this time.
A business answering machine greeting is a message recorded on the voicemail or answering machine of a company. Since this message is going to be heard by at least some of your customers, you should be sure to keep the message professional. For the most part, you should not create a message that is silly or funny, but instead provide important and useful information in a way that is professional and fairly fast. You can, however, use the message as a quick opportunity to include a brief statement about a particular service you offer such as “Thank you for calling The House of Pies, home of the world famous zucchini and artichoke pie.”