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First, make a list of phone numbers for everyone in your group. You can store up to 15 different groups with up to 25 people in each group. Choose 4 for Group Lists, then press 1 to create a list. Number this list 11-25, then record a name for it and press #. Enter the phone numbers of your group members one at a time.

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"Look, I've had a really bad day. Yesterday too. And tomorrow doesn't look nearly as good. But, uh, if you want, go ahead and say a few words after the gunshot."
You have reached the voice mail box of (your name). If you’re a hot chick/guy, you may leave a message at the tone. If your one of (your name)’s friends, you may also leave a message at the tone. If you’re not hot and not one of (your name)’s friends, call back when you are. Hello. I’m sorry I didn’t answer your call. .

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Phone Solicitor Discouragement: The Long-Winded Voicemail Message. November 12, 2014. November 12, 2014 by funny. By pure, ridiculous serendipity, I found a way to almost bring a stop to phone solicitor calls, a major nuisance for dinosaurs who wish to hang onto their land lines.
As a bonus, here is an example of our own holiday voicemail greeting here at OpenPhone:

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11.) Bienvenue chez John Doe, malheureusement, vous nous appelez en dehors des heures de bureau, ou nous ne pouvons pas prendre votre appel en ce moment. Si vous voulez nous laisser un message, envoyez-nous un email à [email protected] - Nous vous contacterons dès que possible. Pour plus d'informations sur nous, visitez notre site Web www.johndoe.de. Un grand merci pour votre appel.
10.) Buongiorno, e benvenuti alla John Doe. Per motivi tecnici, non possiamo rispondere personalmente alla vostra chiamata. Ringraziamo per la vostra comprensione. Stiamo lavorando sodo per trovare una soluzione. Se volete, potete lasciare un messaggio sulla nostra homepage: www.johndoe.de – Grazie e arrivederci.

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8.) Herzlich Willkommen in der Service Abteilung der Mustermann GmbH. Leider sind im Augenblick alle Leitungen belegt. Bitte hinterlassen Sie nach dem Signalton eine Nachricht mit Ihrem Namen und Ihrer Telefonnummer. Wir rufen Sie baldmöglichst zurück. Wir wünschen Ihnen einen schönen Tag.

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3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s]."

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    22. "Hi, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. We're closed until [date]. Please leave your name and phone number and someone will return your call ASAP. Have a great [New Year's, Fourth of July, etc.]."

    2. If you’re out of the office: “Good afternoon. You have reached the office of [your name]. I will be out of the office beginning on [date] and will be returning on [date].
    While straightforward is always the safe bet, certain entities can go to the humorous side of voicemail greetings. Before taking this route, consider the type of callers and the persona the recipient is trying to convey. Since (insert name) isn’t available at the moment to take your call, but will promptly return it should you decide to accept your mission and leave your name and number, we have a very important question to occupy you in the meantime. Why did the chicken cross the road? Voicemail Greetings For Vacation

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    As one of the best-selling VoIP devices, magicJack has allowed people to use their Internet connection to make both mobile and landline...

    37. You have reached [your name] at [your company]. Thank you for calling. Please leave your name, number and a message, and I will get right back to you.
    Unfortunately, not all phone numbers can be dialed: Slydial doesn't work with landline phones, third-party voicemail services, VoIP numbers, or prepaid mobile phones. If you subscribe to one of the premium plans, you can eliminate the ads on the service and send messages to multiple contacts at once.

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    35. Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of [your name] at [your company]. I’m away from my desk, in a meeting or on the other line. Please leave your name, number and a brief message after the tone and I will get back to you as soon as I can.

    Education Details: Informal voicemail greetings. Some businesses are in the “business” of being less formal than a law firm, for example. And that’s okay. Informal greetings can be more approachable, as if someone is calling a friend. Informal greetings do not have to be rude. Keep it …
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    Business professionals are also encouraged to keep their voicemail organized. Delete any messages from the office phone that are no longer necessary after calls are returned, and write down any phone numbers that are needed at the time the message is listened to. If modern voicemail service is utilized, such as that supplied by Voicemail Office, in which voicemail and fax messages are received in a staff member’s email inbox, the individual should write a short explanation in the body of the email if forwarding any voicemail messages to other staff members.

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    Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.

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OpenPhone is a modern business phone service app for startups, small businesses, and individuals. OpenPhone separates your professional and personal communications and enables you to personalize your number to reflect your own brand. Use your business number directly from your existing cell phone!

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17. “Happy Holidays from [company name]. Our hours are a little bit different this holiday season. [List hours]. We hope it’s not an emergency, but if so, we’ve got you covered. Contact us at [company email/other support lines] and we’ll get back to you ASAP. For all other inquiries, we’ll contact you when we are back from the holiday – we might be a few pounds heavier but eager to speak with you! Happy Holidays.” Things happen during the holidays, we know. Let your callers know you are still there just in case!

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I am not in the office today; I may not be in tomorrow. I may be in to work sooner, if you gave me your car to borrow.

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-If your phone has a gangsta rap ring-back tone, then I might wait for you to answer.

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