You may additionally want to bear in mind that people might be calling you from their cellphones, and a long message can use up someone’s valuable cellphone minutes. Some voicemail systems have the option of pressing a key like the pound key to immediately start recording a message; you may want to consider the funny or long message only if you have this option available to callers. Another point of consideration when recording an answering machine greeting is who is likely to call. If you’re job hunting, for instance, you may want to drop the funny salutation for a while, and use a more standard and businesslike greeting, unless you’re applying for jobs as a comic. Is Amazon actually giving you the best price? This little known plugin reveals the answer. Some answering machines utilize cassette tapes.
Sound benign and businesslike? That's the whole idea. As Karyn-Ruth explains it, "Bill collectors, the IRS, sales personnel, obscene callers and other obnoxious people think they have reached a business, and therefore the wrong number, and hang up."

Business professionals are also encouraged to keep their voicemail organized. Delete any messages from the office phone that are no longer necessary after calls are returned, and write down any phone numbers that are needed at the time the message is listened to. If modern voicemail service is utilized, such as that supplied by Voicemail Office, in which voicemail and fax messages are received in a staff member’s email inbox, the individual should write a short explanation in the body of the email if forwarding any voicemail messages to other staff members.
Avoid using ‘please’ more than once, it gets wordy and redundant. The goal is to keep the content as concise as possible, moving callers quickly and seamlessly through the options.