Are you creating a voicemail greeting for your entire company or team? These business voicemail greetings will do the trick.
A word of warning: These greetings will not do you any favors if you're in the midst of a job hunt or work in a conservative industry. Always remember your target personas. If there's a chance they won't appreciate your sense of humor, opt for a straightforward greeting instead.

5. You have reached [your business]. We are currently closed. Our normal hours of operations are from [hours] [days]. We are closed on [days]. Please leave us a message with your name and number and we will return your call when the office reopens. You may hang up after leaving your message or press the [key] for additional options. Thank you for calling.
How do I change my voicemail greeting on Android? Open the Phone app . Press and hold “1” to call your voicemail. Enter your PIN and press “#”. Press “*” for the menu. Press “4” to change settings. Press “1” to change your greeting. Follow the recorded instructions. Access your main voicemail menu. Listen for instructions to enter your password. From the main menu press 3 for Personal Options. Press 2 for Greetings. Press 1 to Change Greeting. Press 1 to Record personal greeting or press 2 to select the standard greeting. Tap on Call settings and select Voicemail. Tap on Voicemail service and select My carrier or My operator. Tap on Setup, select Voicemail number and type in your voicemail number. Tap on OK in the Voicemail number changed popup.