funny phone answering machine messages
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I was cleaning out a boxs of cassette tapes I had for over 35 years or so and I had found my old Radio Shack outgoing messages tapes. these tapes was made

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Funny Answering Machine Messages Sample Messages Funny answering machine messages are basically messages that are recorded in an answering machine and are intended to deliver a humorous punch to the Sample Funny Answering Machine Messages: " You have reached the voicemail of God! Now try and humor me or stop wasting my time!
People may not want to give information about who lives in their home to unknown callers for a variety of reasons. This information may be used by telemarketers who could then ask for you by name when they call again, scammers who might do the same, or people who are not interested in your welfare. Women living alone for instance may use the “we” instead of “I” to suggest more people living in a house, and can even opt for using the machine generated message or computer generated “male voice” instead of their own voice to increase their security at home. For personal security reasons, you might want to avoid indication of children in the home, too, and you certainly shouldn’t mention that you’re on vacation. .

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This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.
Your call is important to us and we will get back to you as soon as possible. Please leave your full name, contact details, phone number, and availability after the beep and we will call you back straight away. Thank you!”

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Call to record your voicemail greeting. To change or record your voicemail greeting: From your: Wireless phone: Press and hold 1 or the Voicemail key. AT&T Wireless Home Phone: Dial 1 from your connected home phone. Enter your voicemail password if prompted. In the Main Menu, press 4 for Personal Options. Press 3 to Change Greetings.
Sample Voice Prompts for Health Care INTRODUCTION therapy, etc. A well designed auto attendant system can guide patients to the right locations at the right times – and can refer the caller to a web-based map or directions resource. Please leave a message stating your name, phone number and the test you need to make an appointment for

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Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU. Leave a message.

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You might call this one Current Events Run Wild: "Hey, this is Sally. I can't come to the phone right now. Kato and I are at McDonald's."

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    Website: http://allowe.com/laughs/book/88 Creative Answering Machine Messages.htm

    5. Voicemail Greetings For Vacation. As mentioned above, alerting callers that they won’t be getting an immediate call back is of upmost importance for an entity’s reputation and a caller’s satisfaction.
    Save the funny voicemail greetings for your home phone, and let us handle your business phone. Since our digital call center is open 24/7/365, you will never be greeted by a voicemail greeting requesting you to leave a message. However, our staff loves to have fun when we can so we hope these funny voicemail greetings bring you a smile.

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    You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

    2.) Добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко». К сожалению, вы звоните нам в не рабочее время. Вы можете связаться с нами с понедельника по пятницу с 8 утра до 6 вечера, и в субботу с 9 утра до 4 вечера. Пожалуйста, оставьте сообщение или отправьте нам письмо на электронный адрес: [email protected]. Мы свяжемся с вами как можно скорее – Спасибо.
    Education Details: Free Pre Recorded Voicemail Messages › See more all of the best education on www.studyeducation.org Business Free Pre Recorded Voicemail Messages › Best Education From www.studyeducation.org Education We provide free recorded voicemail greetings: The best way to greet your callers—and create a stunning im pre ssion—is with a professional, pre …

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    -Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

    If you are recording a voicemail message for business, be sure you include your name and your company's name, so people know who they are calling and were they are reaching them. If you do not include the business name, they may think they have mistakenly called you at your personal number. You will also want to make sure to give callers the option to speak to someone who is currently available, an operator or other representative, by pressing a certain key (check with IT personnel to see what this might be).
    These features only work with callers who also have CenturyLink voicemail. (Some limitations may apply depending upon customer phone facilities.)

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    The following templates and text ideas can be used for almost any kind of voicemail greeting. You can switch the language of the text blocks by pressing the tab button.

    Listing Results Voicemail Message Ideas 48 Results Phone number Mobile phone Contact us Customer service
    1.) Добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко». К сожалению, на данный момент никого нет в офисе, или вы звоните в не рабочее время. Пожалуйста, оставьте сообщение или отправьте письмо на [email protected]. Большое спасибо за ваш звонок.

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Friends and colleagues speak to each using first names only. So do people of authority. They do not call each other and leave voicemail messages asking for Mister, Miss, or Mrs. Therefore, when you call a person you want to do business with and you leave a voicemail message, refer to them by their first name only. Don't say mister, miss, or misses. Don't say their last name. Begin your voicemail message by saying only "hi/hello" followed by the person's first name. Or, you can even forget the "hi/hello" and just say the person's first name. That is how you show confidence and authority and separate yourself from weak salespeople.

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From Burke, an exercise in antisocial oddness: "You have reached the live psychic hot line. We know who you are and why you are calling, so at the beep, hang up."

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Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.

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Press 8 to send a reply message directly back to the person who called you. Let's say it's late at night and you don't want to ring the person's phone. Maybe you just don't want to talk right now, but you still want to answer their message. Just press 8 to automatically leave a reply message in that person's voicemail.

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