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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.

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2. My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.
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Voice mail allows business professionals access to messages -- even when they're away from the office. A call to any business or home used to mean one of three things -- an answer, a busy signal or endless, unanswered ringing. Increasingly, it now means an encounter with voice mail.
“Hello, you’ve reached the Marketing Department at [XYZ Company]. All of our team members are currently working with other clients to [insert goal] and are unable to take your call.

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I’m out walking my donkey but as soon as I get my ass back in I’ll call you back. Leave me a message.
Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it.

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Hi, we aren’t in at the moment, if you are trying to sell us something please start speaking now and hang up at the beep, everyone else start speaking at the beep and hang up when you’ve finished.

  • what to have as your voicemail

    Each recording is customised to suit your business requirements. You can choose from a range of tones, voice artists, or create a custom script for your on hold message.

    If you do not want to use your voicemail and would like to turn it off, please contact us to remove the service from your number. At this time, there is no self-service option for turning off voicemail. Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 Telephone Voiceovers and Messages Guided Meditation Internet Service Terms Apple Music & Privacy Cookie Warning Support Feedback My Post My Reading List Account Settings Newsletters & alerts Gift subscriptions Contact us Help desk My Post My Reading List Account Settings Newsletters & alerts Gift subscriptions Contact us Help desk
    Recording voicemail greetings for your business or personal life requires a separate list of priorities, because they are being used for two distinct purposes and will be heard by two very different types of callers. I have a friend with two cell phones - one for work, and one for personal calls - and if you call both lines, you would never know it's the same person. While the message on his personal line might not be ideal, he took the time to record a professional voicemail message for his business phone, which makes it stand out.

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    If you know of any others that should be added to this list, please send them to me. Professional Voice Over Recordings GREETINGS ON HOLD MESSAGES VOICE-PROMPTS & MORE

    Company-level calls are usually directed to your general business number. There are occasions when everyone in the office is tied up and unable to pick up calls. It’s important to gather information about the reason for the call so that the right person or team can call them back. These greetings ensure that customers do not feel neglected while also providing assurance that their call will be attended to as soon as possible.
    There are a lot of benefits to having a professional voicemail greetings. Also take a look at our pre recorded voicemail greeting - starting at $ 29. With us we will allow you to pick a voice talent that would best suit the image of your business company. In accordance with your company phone system, the recordings will be delivered in any file format you need. It is that easy.

  • what to say for answering machine

    12.) Bienvenue chez JohnDoe. Vous pouvez nous joindre du lundi au vendredi de 8h à 12h30 et de 13 heures à 16h30. Nous ne pouvons pas prendre votre appel pour le moment. Laissez un message avec votre nom et votre numéro de téléphone et nous vous rappellerons dès que possible. En cas d'urgence, vous pouvez nous joindre sur le numéro 0821 91039- 1211. Merci beaucoup.

    Hi, you’ve reached the home of [name]. If you are calling to collect a student loan, gambling debt, or other obligation, please press 1 and hang up now. If you are selling any product or service, or requesting charitable donations, please press 2 and hang up now. Otherwise, press 3 and leave your message now. Pressing 3 is optional.
    Are you a "Gone With the Wind" fan? Then you'll want to copy this one, which Anne S. Kight has been using on her home machine for years. In the background, you hear the swelling overture from GWTW. After a few seconds, a gently accented southern voice says: "As God is my witness, I simply cannot come to the phone right now. So please leave a message, and I'll call you back -- tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day!"

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    Hello! You’ve reached [LinkedPhone’s Tech Support Team]. We are currently closed but we’re always eager to help. Our regular business hours are from [9am to 7pm Easter Standard Time, 7 days a week]. Please include your name, number, and a short description of the issue you’re experiencing. We promise to return your call by the end of the next business day. [If this is an urgent matter, press ‘0’ to be connected with our VIP support team]. Thank you.

    3) Press the OK soft key or Select (depending on model). You will hear a confirmation tone. This information as well instructions for other features your model may have can also be found in your owner's manual. Ring Time allows you to set the number of rings the caller hears before your answering system plays the outgoing message. You can set the ring time to answer after two, four,or six rings. If you enable the Toll Saver (TS), the answering system picks up after two rings if you have new messages, and after four rings if there are none. 1) Simply move the "Ring Time" switch to the desired selection. This switch can be found on the side of the base To operate your answering system when you are away from home, you will need to enter a two-digit security code or Personal Identification Number (PIN). The default security code is 80. 3) Press the OK soft key or Select key (depending on model). You will hear a confirmation tone.
    For example, the traditional Irish Christian Blessing "May God grant you many years" makes a lovely message for callers to hear. 4 Funny Voice Mail To jazz up your voice mail and put a bit of theater into it, you can take the quote from Samuel; "The LORD thundered from heaven; the voice of the Most High resounded."

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In Australian English it’s pronounced with the vowel /a:/ like in ‘part’. Problems arise when people use the /ʌ/ vowel (like in ‘up’) instead of /æ/ or /a:/. If you do this is will sound like the worst swear word in English. Many non-native speakers often pronounce the vowel /æ/ more like /ʌ/ because they don’t have a vowel like /æ/ in their first language. Many speakers of European languages will do this (Spanish speakers and Italian speakers) and also speakers of Japanese and Korean. This problem with /æ/ also means that if you say the word ‘back’ in your voicemail greeting sample, you are likely to pronounce it more like ‘buck’. remember to pronounce word endings in English. Check you aren’t dropping any endings off or mispronouncing them.

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You may also email us at [email]. If you would like one of our team members to call you back, please leave your full name, contact info and number after the beep. Good to hear from you!”

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5.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. Você pode nos contatar de segunda à sexta das 7:00 às 18:00 horas e aos sábados das 10:00 às 13:00 horas. Se você quiser fazer um pedido ou tem uma pergunta, por favor, deixe seu nome, número de cliente e telefone. Iremos retornar a ligação o mais rápido possível. Você sempre pode nos enviar um e-mail no [email protected]. Muito obrigado pela sua ligação – Até breve.

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