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If you’re looking for funny voicemail messages to leave on your answering machine or cell phone, then here are some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.

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People may not want to give information about who lives in their home to unknown callers for a variety of reasons. This information may be used by telemarketers who could then ask for you by name when they call again, scammers who might do the same, or people who are not interested in your welfare. Women living alone for instance may use the “we” instead of “I” to suggest more people living in a house, and can even opt for using the machine generated message or computer generated “male voice” instead of their own voice to increase their security at home. For personal security reasons, you might want to avoid indication of children in the home, too, and you certainly shouldn’t mention that you’re on vacation.
We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and Master Card, Visa, or American Express account number and we’ll get back to, pending credit approval. .

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14. “Thanks for giving us a call! We promise it’s never a bad time for [company name], but you’ve reached us after-hours. Please leave us your name, number and the best time to reach you and we’ll give you a call when we are open.” Let’s face it, you’re not always open. Yet that doesn’t mean you don’t want to help your caller. Let them know you’ll call them right back when you’re open again.
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5. Hello. I’m home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.
Basic Voicemail Message Examples: 1. Share basic information: “Hello! You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name], [your job title]. I’m currently either away from my desk or on the other line. Please leave your name, telephone number, and a short message after the beep, and I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I’m available.” 2.

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22. "Hi, you've reached [your name, the office of X company]. We're closed until [date]. Please leave your name and phone number and someone will return your call ASAP. Have a great [New Year's, Fourth of July, etc.]."

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You may additionally want to bear in mind that people might be calling you from their cellphones, and a long message can use up someone’s valuable cellphone minutes. Some voicemail systems have the option of pressing a key like the pound key to immediately start recording a message; you may want to consider the funny or long message only if you have this option available to callers. Another point of consideration when recording an answering machine greeting is who is likely to call. If you’re job hunting, for instance, you may want to drop the funny salutation for a while, and use a more standard and businesslike greeting, unless you’re applying for jobs as a comic. Is Amazon actually giving you the best price? This little known plugin reveals the answer. Some answering machines utilize cassette tapes.

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    2. Hello, you have reached the office of [your name]; I will be out of my office starting on [date] and will be returning on [date]. You can call me when I return or leave a brief message. If this is an emergency I can be reached on my cell, which is [your number].

    As the odds of receiving a call back from your voicemail message are already low, you need to be very specific about what you say in your voicemail to give you the greatest chance of getting a call back. What you absolutely do NOT want to do is make yourself sound like a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, you want to sound like a very confident business colleague who deserves the respect of getting a call back.
    Verbal Content – generally, you should use 100 words to make up 1 minute of content produced with background music. In other words, one to two paragraphs per minute. The topic can range from product promotions to general company information.

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    29. Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [your company]. Please send me an email at [email address] if this is urgent, and I’ll get in contact with you as soon as possible. If this is not urgent, please leave me a brief message about the reason you are calling with your contact information and I’ll get back to you in the next 24 hours. Have a great day.

    After you listen to each message, the commands shown above in BLUE are available.
    3. “You’ve reached [company name]. We can’t take your call right now, let us call you back! Please leave us your name, number, the reason for your call and the best time to call you back – we don’t want to miss you again. Talk to you soon.” Let your callers know that you don’t want to miss the chance to speak with them by asking for a convenient time to call them back.

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    -So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.

    Using concise and simple words in your scripting helps ensure callers can comprehend what is being said. Although a complete on-hold message can be quite lengthy, it should include concise and to the point single messages. Aim to get each message across in around 35 to 40 words. Remember, what may read great in written word doesn't necessary sound great said out aloud.
    2. Professional voicemail greetings for your business cell phone number. It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers.

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    -Hello, this is ________. I’m not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around.) OK, what would you like me to tell me?

    Writing a blog post is certainly a skill. Not everybody can do that. However, writing a good post is not enough. You need to write it with two main . . . 6790 Embarcadero Lane Suite 100 Carlsbad, CA 92011 User Login Technology Security Privacy Policy Master Subscription Agreement Did you know your browser is out of date? Please download the most up-to-date version of your browser or use a newer browser to continue surfing. In effort to keep your personal information secure and provide you with the best experience the upgrade is required. To download the most recent version of your browser or to install a new browser of your choice, please click any of the icons below and follow the instructions on the page. USA UK Australia Canada Singapore More Languages Science Professor College High School Postgraduate Doctor University Business Answering Machine Greetings Samples EducationHomeBusiness answering machine greetings samples education
    -Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

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Avoid background noise. Whether you have music playing in your office, or you’re sitting in a coffee shop, background noise can make it difficult for your customers to understand your greeting. Limit the noise around you when you leave your voicemail greeting.

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Writing a blog post is certainly a skill. Not everybody can do that. However, writing a good post is not enough. You need to write it with two main . . . 6790 Embarcadero Lane Suite 100 Carlsbad, CA 92011 User Login Technology Security Privacy Policy Master Subscription Agreement Did you know your browser is out of date? Please download the most up-to-date version of your browser or use a newer browser to continue surfing. In effort to keep your personal information secure and provide you with the best experience the upgrade is required. To download the most recent version of your browser or to install a new browser of your choice, please click any of the icons below and follow the instructions on the page. USA UK Australia Canada Singapore More Languages Science Professor College High School Postgraduate Doctor University Business Answering Machine Greetings Samples EducationHomeBusiness answering machine greetings samples education

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Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you!

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5. Seven Best Business Voicemail Greetings. If you've called outside of our office hours, someone will get back with you during the first few hours of the next business day.

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