Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If you’re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages below.
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Donald G. Gould, of Northwest Washington, is nothing if not au courant. Here's his message: "Hello. You have reached {the phone number} in the nation's capital, a city now permanently on the Dole and where even the best periodontist cannot cure Gingrichitis. Please leave your message."
The information you provide in your business answering machine greeting can vary depending on your specific needs, though some basic information is common. You should indicate the business that has been reached, including a specific name if you have a personal business number or extension. If the message is for general use, you might indicate that you are unavailable, though a message for use after business hours can provide the caller with regular business hours. You should not, however, use any language that could be taken to indicate that you are busy with a task that is more important than your caller.
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-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.
-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.
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Your voicemail greeting is a prime way for you to differentiate your business and be memorable, and it doesn’t have to be a chore. Anything that breaks up the monotony of corporate greetings will do the trick. For example, you can include a few of the deals you’re currently running or even your mission statement.
Or say that your brand is on a holiday, you can’t miss out on leads because you know their value on your business.
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When you’re closed for the holiday, it’s good to forgo your usual out-of-office greeting for a custom holiday message. Keep it cheery and brief, and be sure to let callers know when you’ll resume normal business operations.
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"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."
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The above eight rules of engagement for voicemail greetings may sound easy enough, but they’ll require some practice to get just right. Let’s look at some examples to provide some context in how to apply the rules to various types of greetings and situations.
That’s why it’s critical that each customer interaction with your business is consistent, positive, and represents the values and personality of your company. This includes your storefront, website, social media presence, emails, and every interaction you have with your customers, both online and in-person.
Hi. I am probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
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How's this for definite and sure-footed? "Hi. I'm glad you called. At least I think I'm glad you called. In fact, why don't you leave your name, and then I'll know for sure if I'm glad you called?"
2.) Добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко». К сожалению, вы звоните нам в не рабочее время. Вы можете связаться с нами с понедельника по пятницу с 8 утра до 6 вечера, и в субботу с 9 утра до 4 вечера. Пожалуйста, оставьте сообщение или отправьте нам письмо на электронный адрес: [email protected]. Мы свяжемся с вами как можно скорее – Спасибо.
1. If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.
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-Hey! Sorry I missed your call. If you’re a telemarketer, then I’m definitely not sorry. If you’re not a telemarketer, then I’ll return your call as soon as possible.
Follow the instructions and press that number. You will be asked to delete your current Voicemail greeting. Click on the ‘Yes’ button that appears on the screen if you want to remove that. You can save your new recorded Voicemail greeting or can use the default recorded option. From the home screen, select the Phone app. Note: Alternately, you can set up voicemail by selecting the Phone app then selecting and holding the 1 key. Select Keypad, then select the Visual Voicemail icon. Select Start. Select Ok. From any Home screen, tap the Menu key. Tap Settings. Tap Call settings. Tap Voicemail. Tap Voicemail again. View the voicemail number. Press and hold the 1 on your device’s dial pad to call and connect to your voicemail. Press the star * key to access the main menu. Press 4 to access the mailbox options. Press 7 to change the language of the voicemail prompts to either Spanish or English.
6. Voicemail Greetings For The Holidays. Hi, you’ve reached (insert name and title) at (insert company.) We’ve taken this time to be with our family’s and stuff our bellies.
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Hello, you have reached Dr. X. Right now, I am with a patient, so I’m unable to respond to your call immediately. If you need help with a prescription, call number Y. If you need to book/modify an appointment, call number z. Please, leave your name, and phone number and reasons for calling.
7. "Hello, this is [your name] at [company]. Thanks for calling. Please leave your name, number, and the reason you'd like to chat, and I'll get back to you ASAP.
2. What to Say in a Voicemail Message. When unable to answer the phone, a voicemail message can be important. Below are examples of what to say in a voicemail message.
Be Part Of Our Story!
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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.
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To set up your voicemail, call the access number from your welcome letter or try #55, *68, or *98. If you don't have a welcome letter, contact us to get your access number.
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5. Away/Vacation Voicemail Greeting Samples. “Hello, this is [Name] at [Company.] I will be out of the office for the week of [dates]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call, and I will reply within 24 hours of my return. If you prefer, you can try me on my cell, [number].
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There you have it, a basic introduction into how to write the best voicemail greetings. As you have seen, they’re not as easy as you’d think, but once you get comfortable with the type of information required by each, writing and recording your own should be a piece of cake. If you’ve tried to write one yourself and still don’t ‘feel you’ve captured the right essence, then please look at one of our voicemails greeting templates. When it comes to recording it, remember to rehearse your script and speak clearly. If you don’t care for your own voice, then have someone else record it, or hire a professional voice actor. Remember, there are also free audio editing software programs like Audacity, where you can manipulate your recording until you get exactly what you want.
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If the you haven't changed your personal greeting, a default system greeting will be played for callers. For example, "Please leave a message for John Smith. After the tone, please record your message. When you finish recording hang-up or press the pound key for more options."
7. Direct Customers to Your Account Login Page. Thank you for calling [Company Name]. Our offices are currently closed for the day. Standard office hours are Monday to Friday, 8 AM to 8 PM Eastern Time.
Website: https://funny-about-money.com/phone-solicitor-discouragement-the-long-winded-voicemail-message/
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These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone. It's always a good idea to let callers know exactly when their calls may be returned and to list the operating hours.
You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:
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6. Voicemail Greetings For The Holidays. Hi, you’ve reached (insert name and title) at (insert company.) We’ve taken this time to be with our family’s and stuff our bellies.
Thank you for calling [LinkedPhone]. Due to the current pandemic, our team members are working remotely and are available [Monday through Friday from 9am to 7pm Eastern Standard Time]. Please leave a message with your name, number, and how we can serve you. We will respond as promptly as possible. Thank you for your patience during this unprecedented time. Let’s get through this together. Stay safe and well.
You have reached the , Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility. We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number and target or list of targets and we’ll launch as soon as we can. And have a nice day.
“Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!
Website: https://weirdomatic.com/weird-and-funny-answering-machine-messages-thatll-make-you-laugh.html
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Listing Results Voicemail Message Ideas 48 Results Phone number Mobile phone Contact us Customer service
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1. Funny Answering Greeting from Seinfeld. Back in 1997, Seinfeld’s character, George Costanza, attempts to avoid a breakup call from his girlfriend and we hear his comical outgoing machine recording.
"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
You may also email the [insert office name] at [insert office email] this email is being monitored between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m., Monday through Friday.
Press *98 from your home phone only. *98 message retrieval may not be available in all areas.
› Url: https://www.thebalancecareers.com/professional-letter-greetings-2062310 Go Now
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18. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm away from [date] to [date]. If you need help with [X] before then, please contact [name] at [phone number]. Everyone else, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call when I return. Thanks and have a great day."
Hello! You’ve reached [LinkedPhone’s Tech Support Team]. We are currently closed but we’re always eager to help. Our regular business hours are from [9am to 7pm Easter Standard Time, 7 days a week]. Please include your name, number, and a short description of the issue you’re experiencing. We promise to return your call by the end of the next business day. [If this is an urgent matter, press ‘0’ to be connected with our VIP support team]. Thank you.
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Here are a few sample voice mail greetings to get you started: Standard Voice Mail Greetings. Normal Greeting (Without pager notification) "This is (name) of (company). I'm currently unable to take your call. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and I …
Include Basic Information: Your voicemail greeting should include basic information such as your hours of operation and location. This will help you to screen out calls during office hours, and also unnecessary voicemail inquiries.
Education Details: Voicemail Greeting. Many companies offer an escape option so that if a caller ends up in a staff member’s voice mailbox, he or she can “escape” out of the mailbox and go back to the attendant menu. Use a customized auto-attendant for this situation. 10. Escape the Voicemail Box Option. You have reached the voicemail of [person’s name].
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By presenting a clear, welcoming message containing relevant information about your business, you are showing callers that you value their time. If your recording is vague, confusing, or drags on, customers will lose interest and hang up the phone instead of leaving a voicemail message.
Thank you for calling. You have reached (Your Name) at (Your Business). Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I’ll return your call as soon as possible.
Not in a chatty mood? Here's how to go directly to voicemail or send a voice message.
Education Details: Option (2): If your call is urgent and cannot wait for a return call, call/text (Name/Title) at (Phone). • Every CMSD desk telephone and cell phone must be equipped with a voicemail greeting that is professional and concise and that conveys relevant and useful information to the caller. o Telephone number to dial for immediate assistance.
You can also click View more in Outlook to open the Voicemail folder for more info. Listen to your voicemail at a different speed
Your voicemail message should ideally answer all of the following requirements: Brief -- nothing bores callers as much (or makes them hang up as often) as long voicemail messages Informative -- if it's your professional voicemail, say your name, business, and if necessary, department.
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“Hey! You’ve reached us here at [XYZ company]. All our team is currently out of the office for the holidays. We’ll be back to work on [date] well-fed and therefore eager to speak with you!
Education Details: The following voicemail greeting examples range from the brief and simple to the more detailed. You should choose the one that best suits your job and responsibilities as well as your personality. Before recording your message, you should also make sure to adhere to the basic elements of good voicemail greetings. basic elements of good
In response to smartphones becoming more affordable and accessible to the consumer market, businesses have migrated to mobile platforms, repackaging their services to be used “on-the-go.” Business is no longer restricted to the office – word processing, payments, email, printing, meetings, and more can all be done from a smartphone.
Recognize Their Need. When someone calls your business, the voicemail should give them a sense of validation. This means that your voicemail should extend gratitude for their interest in your business, or an apology for not being there to answer your call. These two simple courtesies can go a long way in the creation or establishment of client/business trust. Make it Informative for the Caller. Your voicemail must include all the information the customer will need for your particular business. For instance, if you’re a brick and mortar establishment, it’s wise to include your store hours. It’s also a good idea to leave them an alternate way to contact you, especially if it’s after hours. After all, you don’t want to miss just one potential customer. Here are some suggestions for elements to include in your voicemail: Business name Hours (if brick and mortar) Alternate method of contact, such as email Your name
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