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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.

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7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
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6. Full Waiting Queue Message. What the caller hears when the waiting queue is full. Sample Scripts: “We are currently experiencing high call volume. Please leave a message with your name and phone number and we will return your call as soon as possible.”
Hey guess who this is? You guessed it. Guess what you have to do now? You guessed it.

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-Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
Before we head towards the tips for you to get started on creating efficient voicemail messages, there is one thing you need to realize.

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5. “Hi, you’ve reached [company name]. We can’t take your call right now but we will call you back as soon as we’re available. Please leave your name, number and reason for your call. We know your time is precious, so to skip the back and forth, kindly leave a few different times of day that work best with your schedule and we will do our best to reach you then! Have a great day.” This greeting lets your caller know that not only your time is precious, but you realize theirs is as well.

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Joe and Serena Toro win the door prize for honesty. For several years after their youngest child went off to college, the Toro tape said: "You have reached the empty nest of Joe and Serena Toro. We can't take your call right now because we are celebrating our freedom. Please leave a message."

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    From the main menu, select 2 to record and send a message directly to another CenturyLink mailbox without ringing their phone. Or, you can even record a message for someone in your household and send it to your own number. (Some limitations may apply depending upon customer phone facilities.) Enter the destination mailbox number or group number, then press # This is the phone number of the person you're sending to. If the person doesn't have CenturyLink voicemail, the system will tell you it can't deliver the message. Enter another destination mailbox number or group number, then press # or just press # Record your message after the tone, then press # Press # to send now, or press 1 to add a delivery option (e.g., 3 for Private, 2 for Urgent, 6 for delivery confirmation.) Shortcuts & time savers
    The voicemail greeting is an important element of your business’ phone system because it is often the first impression of your business that customers will have. Creating a really good voicemail greeting is a unique opportunity that you can use to impress customers by putting your best face on, while increasing the chances that you’ll retain their business in those times when …

  • great business answering machine messages

    Happy Independence Day from Yu Orthodontics! We are closed from the 4th thru the 6th in celebration of the 4th of July holiday. Our office will reopen at 8 am on Monday, July 9th. If you have an emergency, please hang up and dial 911. If this is an urgent matter and you cannot wait to speak to the doctor when we when we are open, please call Dr. Yu directly at 555-4010. If you are calling to inquire about services or schedule an appointment, please leave a message, and we will return your call on Monday. Thank you and have a fun, safe holiday!

    15. "This is Bond. James Bond. Okay, it's really [your last name]. [Your first name] [your last name]. I'll get back to you as soon as I'm done helping M16 save the world — which will probably be tomorrow at the latest. Have a good day."
    -If your phone has a gangsta rap ring-back tone, then I might wait for you to answer.

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    As mentioned above, alerting callers that they won’t be getting an immediate call back is of upmost importance for an entity’s reputation and a caller’s satisfaction.

    Visual voice mail (VVM) is a voicemail with a visual interface presenting a visual list of messages for playback. Each message can be shown on the screen, as text. What should my voicemail number be?
    For more information about how the latest innovations in voicemail technology can revolutionize business, visit https://www.voicemailoffice.com

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    Hi. You have reached [Business Name]. Our offices are currently closed for the holiday season. We shall return on January 2, 2020, working office hours from 9 am to 5 pm, Monday thru Friday, closed Saturday and Sunday. Until then, please leave a short message and number, or email address, and we’ll get back to you shortly. Thank you for calling.

    12.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Puede contactar con nosotros de lunes a viernes de 8:00h a 12:30h y de 13:00h a 16:30h. En estos momentos no podemos atenderle personalmente. Por favor, deje un mensaje con su nombre y número de teléfono y le devolveremos la llamada tan pronto como sea posible. Para casos urgentes puede contactarnos al teléfono 0821 91039- 1211. Muchas gracias.
    "Hi.I am probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

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Your voicemail greeting on your business telephone system is the very first thing your business associates and clients will hear when calling your company. For the first time callers, probably your potential customers, you only got a chance to provide a great first impression that will be provided by your voicemail greeting message. For the ones who frequently call your company, you would want to make your voicemail greeting prompts as efficient as possible in order for you not to waste your client’s precious time in listening to your whole voicemail greetings every time they make a call.

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6. After-Hour Options. Thanks for calling [Company Name]. Our offices are currently closed. Our business hours are from Monday to Friday 9 AM to 8 PM Eastern Time, and Saturday 9 AM to 12 PM Eastern.

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The pet care service providers get calls from pet owners at odd hours or when they are busy attending to their chores. So, resorting to voicemail services is necessary for such businesses. Below is an excerpt from a voicemail for a pet service entity:

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