"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."
If you are a burglar, then we’re probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can’t come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren’t home and it’s safe to leave us a message.
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People may not want to give information about who lives in their home to unknown callers for a variety of reasons. This information may be used by telemarketers who could then ask for you by name when they call again, scammers who might do the same, or people who are not interested in your welfare. Women living alone for instance may use the “we” instead of “I” to suggest more people living in a house, and can even opt for using the machine generated message or computer generated “male voice” instead of their own voice to increase their security at home. For personal security reasons, you might want to avoid indication of children in the home, too, and you certainly shouldn’t mention that you’re on vacation.
Welcome to Business 1300 where our mission is to make your business even more outstanding. To better assist us in transferring the call to the appropriate person please select from one of the following options: Press one for Sales, two for Customer Service, and three for Reception. Promote your website and social media accounts. Sell additional products or services to already interested prospects. Answer FAQs Keep callers entertained while waiting. Supply important customer service information.
Voicemail #15. Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you. Weren’t these messages funny and wacky for your machine. Of course, you have to be a bit careful as to what you say and record on
A good voicemail greeting is short and professional, lets people know that you’ll get back to them, and invites callers to continue engaging with a call-to-action. You should also show your personality if you’re in an industry or role that allows that. If your industry is more conservative, however, you’ll want to keep humor and personal touches to a minimum. A greeting Your name Your company A simple explanation for missing the call (e.g. you’re away from the phone or are on holiday) A rough estimate of when you’ll get back to the person An alternative person to reach out to (if you’re out of office) An alternative mode of communication (if you prefer email or text) A call-to-action such as “Leave a message” or “Send me an email at [email protected]”
“Good morning. You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name]. Today is [date]. Please leave me a message with your name and contact information. Oh, and here’s my motivational quote of the day: [read quote].”
Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. ...Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. ...Hi. ...Hello! ...A is for academics, B is for beer. ...Hi. ...Hi! ...This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. ...Hello, you are talking to a machine. ...
-…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.
Hello, you have reached the firm of real estate agent X. I am currently in a meeting with a client, but I will get back to you as soon as possible. Kindly leave your name, your reason for calling and your contact number so that I can get back to you at the earliest. If there is any kind of urgency, you can get in touch with me at Y number.
5. Offering the Operator First. You’ve reached [Company Name], the [company’s slogan]. Please choose from the following menu options: To speak with the operator, press 0.
7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
Some phone systems allow employees to specify a primary greeting and set secondary messages to cover absences or vacations. When creating an individual voicemail greeting, clearly identify yourself, your role, and your company, and let the caller know when you will be able to return their call.
Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.
For a medical office, call types may include billing, emergencies, appointments, cancellations, etc. 2. Determine How To Best Route Calls The best method of routing your medical office calls will depend on your office size and budget. If you have a small staff, setting up a standard voicemail greeting system may be a more practical approach. For a larger health organization with multiple departments, it makes more sense to route calls to their intended destinations by using an auto attendant. For example, “If you have a question about billing, press 1. If you’d like to schedule an appointment, press 2. If this is a medical emergency, press 0 for an operator.” If you want every caller or patient to experience a professional and compassionate call, you may consider working with a medical office answering service. You can forward calls to an answering service after business hours, on holidays, during overflow, or any other time you may need help answering calls. 3. Draft A Script
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11. “Hello! You’ve reached [company name] support line. We’ll be happy to help with your inquiry. In the meantime, have you checked out our [website, help forum, etc.]? It may have the answer you’re looking for. If not, leave your name, number and reason for your call. We’ll reach out to you within the day. Thanks for calling [company name].” Sometimes, a caller likes to find the answer to their own questions. Let them discover by directing them to your website or help forum if you have one.