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funny answering machine messages you can use

I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of 20 dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handi- work, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone. If you’re from the Department of the Treasury, please ignore this message.

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From the main menu, select 4 (Mailbox Options), then press 2 (Hands Free and Time Saver Options).
And this one (from Brad Lund, of Baltimore) made me giggle loudest and longest: "This is the Lund residence. The answering machine is on vacation. This is the refrigerator speaking. State your message slowly and clearly. I'll write it down and stick it to myself with one of those little magnets." .

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It can be any number 4 to 15 digits long. Be sure to make note of your PIN, because you'll need it to access your messages in the future.
3.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. No momento não podemos atender a sua ligação ou você está nos ligando fora do horário comercial. Por favor, deixe uma mensagem com seu nome e número de telefone que vamos ligá-lo de volta o mais rápido possível. Obrigado e até breve.

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When your small business is closed, ensure that your callers know that! If appropriate, you might want to reiterate your business hours to manage callback expectations.
Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we’d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Here’s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. “Think fast!” *beep* Hi, you’ve reached _____.

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Take the time to listen to calls, call back if necessary, use your cell phone when you’re out of town, and take care of anything actionable listed in the messages instead of watching your mailbox fill in. This kind of attention to detail can go a long way towards building a good reputation and image for the business. Good luck! Services Message On Hold Phone Menu Prompts Narration Samples Voices Music Script Industry Contact Support About Us Our Team Employment Blog Store Search Google Juli Durante resources, tips, greetings 1 Comment

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For sheer directness, this is my favorite: "Leave me a message at the sound of the tone. Then hang up and go away and leave me alone."

  • funny answering machine messages you can use

    Here are some great examples of professional voicemail greetings that you can use in your business!

    Voicemail Messages. Recommended Message For . by B Skalland · Cited by 1 — In surveys with telephone data collection, answering machine and voicemail and 45 seconds on average in the cell-phone sample; pre-recorded message . Aug 8, 2019 — Learn how to leave messages on an answering machine in English as well as recording a
    A professional and personable voicemail greeting is beneficial for several reasons. Read ahead to find out what these are.

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    Virtual events are very much like many other kinds of meetings; only they take place over the internet. This technology allows visitors and businesses to collaborate, share information, connect with...

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    3.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. No momento não podemos atender a sua ligação ou você está nos ligando fora do horário comercial. Por favor, deixe uma mensagem com seu nome e número de telefone que vamos ligá-lo de volta o mais rápido possível. Obrigado e até breve.

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    These are just a few ideas to get the gears turning. These are simple examples, but don’t be afraid to show a little personality.

    By setting up a more thorough voicemail greeting, you can smartly route your calls and cut down on voicemail pile up. Considering a medical office answering service to help with overflow and after hours messaging? See how we can help.
    Visual voice mail (VVM) is a voicemail with a visual interface presenting a visual list of messages for playback. Each message can be shown on the screen, as text. What should my voicemail number be?

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    "You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."

    To set up your voicemail, press *98 from your home phone or call the retrieval number you received with your welcome letter. Voice prompts will guide you through the rest of the steps.
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2.) Welcome to John Doe. Unfortunately you are calling us outside our normal business hours. Personally you can reach us Monday to Friday from 8am 6pm and Saturday from 9am to 4pm. Please leave a message, or send us an email to: [email protected]. We will contact you as soon as possible - Thank you.

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9. Holiday Closures. Thank you for calling [Company Name]; we are currently closed in observance of [holiday name]. We will return on [Date] at 8 AM Eastern Time.

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I love my job because [XYZ company] is the best place to work at. Please leave your full name, contact info, number and other details and I’ll call back within 24 hours! Thanks a bunch.”

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