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Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.

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Visual voicemail on a Skype for Business desktop phone, Skype for Business app, or the Lync client for Mac.
Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner (your name here) does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. She gives to charity through the office and she doesn’t need her picture taken if your still with me please leave a message and she will get back with you. .

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A business answering machine greeting is a message recorded on the voicemail or answering machine of a company. Since this message is going to be heard by at least some of your customers, you should be sure to keep the message professional. For the most part, you should not create a message that is silly or funny, but instead provide important and useful information in a way that is professional and fairly fast. You can, however, use the message as a quick opportunity to include a brief statement about a particular service you offer such as “Thank you for calling The House of Pies, home of the world famous zucchini and artichoke pie.”
6. I can’t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don’t remember. I’d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.

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6.) Benvenuti alla John Doe. A causa di lavori di manutenzione, al momento non possiamo rispondere alla vostra chiamata. Siete invitati a inviarci una e-mail a: [email protected]. I nostri dipendenti risponderanno alla vostra e-mail al più presto possibile. Ci scusiamo per la temporanea limitazione! Ringraziamo per la vostra comprensione!
I made this "grouchy voicemail" for whoever is tired of the boring old voicemail your phone service provides. I will have more funny voicemail greetings on

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Make your business stand with a professional voice recording. Our voice artists have over 18 years worth of experience and produce messages of the highest quality.

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18. “Happy holidays! [I’m, the team at X company is] away until [date], however, we’ll make sure to call you back straight away when we return. If your request is urgent, email [emergency contact] at [email address]. Thanks, and have a wonderful [day, week].”

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    To use a different greeting you already recorded or switch back to the default greeting: On your Android device, open the Voice app . At the top left, tap Menu Settings. In the Voicemail section, tap Voicemail greeting. Next to the greeting you want to use, tap More Set as active.

    Hello! You’ve reached [Natasha on the Product Development Team at LinkedPhone]. I’m not available at the moment but your call is important to me. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call and I’ll call you back as soon as possible. Thank you and have a great day!
    Each recording is customised to suit your business requirements. You can choose from a range of tones, voice artists, or create a custom script for your on hold message.

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    Voicemail #15. Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you. Weren’t these messages funny and wacky for your machine. Of course, you have to be a bit careful as to what you say and record on

    2.) Bienvenue chez John Doe. Malheureusement, vous appelez en dehors des heures de bureau. Personnellement, vous pouvez appeler du lundi au vendredi de 8h à 18h et le samedi de 9h à 16h. Laissez un message ou envoyez-nous un email sur : [email protected]. Nous vous recontacterons dès que nous le pourrons. Merci.
    Hello, this is (your name). I apologize for not taking your call right now. Leave me a message and wait by your phone till I can call you back.

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    2.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. Infelizmente você está nos ligando fora do horário comercial. Você pode nos contatar de segunda a sexta-feira das 8:00 às 18:00 e sábado das 9:00 às 16:00 horas. Por favor deixe uma mensagem ou nos envie um e-mail para: [email protected]. Entraremos em contato o mais rápido possível - Obrigado.

    Are you thinking about changing your voicemail greeting? Would you like some help from us? Set up a cranky, funny voicemail, and share a moment of laughter with your dear ones, before they understand your intention behind it and run to get you!
    Hi, you’ve reached (your name) office. Either I’m away from the desk or on another line. Please leave me a brief message with your name and contact number so I can call you back. If this is an emergency, call me on (your cell phone number).

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    Hi, you’ve reached (name)’s answering machine. He/she is not in right now, but I’m totally open for suggestions.

    9. Holiday Closures. Thank you for calling [Company Name]; we are currently closed in observance of [holiday name]. We will return on [Date] at 8 AM Eastern Time.
    8. Funny Voicemail Greetings. If we don't return your call, it means the machine did not work. I'm David's answering machine. What are you? Hi, this is John's answering machine.

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8.( مرحبا بكم في قسم خدمة .JohnDoe للأسف، كل الخطوط مشغولة في الوقت الراهن. يرجى ترك رسالة بعد سماع الرنة مرفوقة باسمكم ورقم هاتفكم. سوف نعيد الاتصال بكم مرة أخرى في أقرب وقت ممكن. نتمنى لكم يوما جميلا.

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With music and messaging that appeals to your target market, you will captivate your audience. Your Message On Hold program can be more than a time filler for callers waiting, it can be an informative, entertaining, and educational tool. With the right content, callers will not only stay on hold, but will have an emotional reaction to your message.

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15. “Hello, you’ve reached the Sales Department at [Company name]. All of our representatives are currently helping clients [insert goal such as, ‘achieve 40% growth through streamlining HR’] and are unable to take your call. Instead of putting you on hold and taking up your valuable time, please leave your name, company, and phone number and we’ll give you a call back ASAP. Thank you!”

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My ass and I are out for a walk. So as soon as I can get my ass back in the house, I’ll give you a call. Leave a message till then.

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