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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:
Are you creating a voicemail greeting for your entire company or team? These business voicemail greetings will do the trick.

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7.) Benvenuti alla John Doe DE, il vostro specialista in prodotti campione. Se volete effettuare un ordine, si prega di seguire la procedura di ordinazione nel nostro negozio online www.johndoe.de – Rimaniamo in attesa del vostro ordine. Per ulteriori domande, si prega di contattare il nostro servizio di assistenza tramite e-mail a: [email protected] – vi contatteremo al più presto possibile. Grazie per la vostra chiamata.
We’re keeping it simple with this one. Just a few basic elements to help you get started. As long as you know who your audience is, the message you wish to convey, and the information you need from the caller, the rest should fall into place quite nicely. Let’s face it, a voicemail greeting for a lumber company will probably be different than that of a psychologist’s office. One greeting is aimed at securing potential customers, and the other is geared towards appointments, more or less. Once you are certain who your caller is, the better your voicemail. Center on your audience, first and foremost. Knowing what to relate ensures that your caller will leave the right message. For instance, if you’re a retail store, you would include your hours of operations, and perhaps any specials that you’re running. If you are a therapist’s office, then you’d need to include an alternate number in case a patient is having an issue and requires immediate help. Again, this will vary depending on the business. Here, a therapist would definitely request the caller leave their contact information. However, a retail store chain might not request that. There are also complex voicemail systems such as those used by mobile phone services, which ask you to press a certain number on your phone, where you are asked to leave your account information. Again, as you can see, it all boils down to the demographics of your callers, and what you need from them to conduct the best business possible. Depending on the situation, your caller might be in a good mood or not. In either case, they’ll probably be eagerly awaiting your call. So, it stands to reason that you only promise them a call back if you can deliver. In other words, if you’re a small shop and you’ve decided to close due to a much-needed sabbatical, then don’t leave a voicemail greeting where you promise them to call right back. However, if you have an active customer service staff, then you can promise to return their call within the same day.

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A dentist is similar to a doctor. Unlike a doctor, a dentist is going to get far more non-urgent calls as patients will want to know when they can pick up various orders, as well as to book follow-up appointments. The key here is prioritizing so the dentist can respond promptly to the patients who need emergency dental work and other urgent consultations.

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6. I can’t come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don’t remember. I’d appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself.

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    Record a Professional Phone Message and Promote Your Business Brand Every Time Someone Calls On Hold Messages for Business from $39 Choice of Tones. Male or Female Voice Phone Recordings.

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    Departments and teams are typically organized by function – customer service, tech support, sales, billing questions, etc. When a team is busy handling other calls, encourage your callers to leave a message and reassure them that you will get back to them within a reasonable time frame. It’s important that you actually follow through to avoid upsetting your callers.

    Voice mail allows business professionals access to messages -- even when they're away from the office. A call to any business or home used to mean one of three things -- an answer, a busy signal or endless, unanswered ringing. Increasingly, it now means an encounter with voice mail.
    Phone Solicitor Discouragement: The Long-Winded Voicemail Message. November 12, 2014. November 12, 2014 by funny. By pure, ridiculous serendipity, I found a way to almost bring a stop to phone solicitor calls, a major nuisance for dinosaurs who wish to hang onto their land lines.

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    6.) Herzliche Willkommen bei der Mustermann GmbH, aufgrund von Wartungsarbeiten können wir Ihren Anruf leider im Moment nicht persönlich entgegennehmen.Sie können uns aber gerne eine Email an [email protected] schreiben, diese wird durch unser Service-Personal schnellst möglich beantwortet.bitte entschuldigen Sie die vorübergehende Einschränkung! Vielen Dank für Ihr Verständnis

    Hello, you have reached X (the service provider), the one-stop destination for your pet care needs. Right now, all our staffs are busy attending client calls. You may choose to stay online until they get free or leave your number and details so that we can call you back. Alternatively, try our live chat for immediate needs.
    6. Hey, sorry I missed you. There may be one of the reasons why I can’t get to the phone: a) I’m with my girl (laugh), b) I am totally wasted and can’t remember how to use a phone, or c) I just don’t wanna talk to YOU.

  • sample answering machine messages for dental office

    A general voicemail greeting is what callers will be greeted with if you are unable to answer the phone at work. It is the everyday greeting, used as the default, unless you have set up a temporary greeting, such as an away message while you're on vacation, or a special message during a holiday.

    By setting up a more thorough voicemail greeting, you can smartly route your calls and cut down on voicemail pile up. Considering a medical office answering service to help with overflow and after hours messaging? See how we can help.
    My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.

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6. After-Hour Options. Thanks for calling [Company Name]. Our offices are currently closed. Our business hours are from Monday to Friday 9 AM to 8 PM Eastern Time, and Saturday 9 AM to 12 PM Eastern.

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8. Outside Business Hours. What the caller hears when they call your company outside of business hours. Sample Scripts: “Thank you for calling [company name].

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30. Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [your company]. I’m unavailable right now on official duties. But if you leave your name and number and a brief message on why you are calling, I will call you back at the earliest opportunity.

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