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Hi. If this is my parents, I need some money you guys. If this is my friend, I’ll get you your money. If this is a hot girl, DO NOT listen to a word I said before. I got plenty of money for you.

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You can play a voice message at different speeds and pause/resume the message, using desktop client visual voicemail, or by dialing into their voicemail. Pressing a certain key on your phone controls how you can hear the voicemail: Read your voicemail transcription .

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Hello you are talking to a machine; I am capable of receiving messages. My owner (your name here) does not need siding windows or a hot tub, and her carpets are clean. She gives to charity through the office and she doesn’t need her picture taken if your still with me please leave a message and she will get back with you.
5) To keep this greeting, press Stop again. To delete it & try again, press Delete. Record Time sets the duration for recording the incoming messages. You have three record time options. The options "1 minute" or "4 minutes" set the duration for recording the incoming messages. "Announce only" answers the call but prevents the caller from leaving a message. 1) Simply move the "Record Time" switch to 1 or 4 is which found on the side of the base 2) Press skip & repeat or volume up & down arrows to get to desired record time.

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When on vacation, provide your callers with a return date and a back-up contact person to accommodate emergencies. This prevents you from potentially damaging a valued relationship while you enjoy some time off.
If you’re going to start with a common statement such as ‘Your call is important to us’ and the other statements you have heard, your prospects are going to walk away.

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89 Church Bulletin Bloopers (to Make You Smile)Useless Facts [140+ Facts You Can Impress Your Friends]Things to Ponder [66 hilarious things to ponder about!]21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) MessagesIf Microsoft Built Cars17 Weird Library Reference QuestionsEmployees must stop crying before returning to workCursed McDonald’s Fries Cosplay36 Stuff To Ponder [They are all weird and hilarious]Men to the left because women are always right

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5. Holiday Voicemail Greetings. Happy [X holiday]! You've reached [your name] at [X company]. I am currently out of the office, but please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I’ll return your call after the holidays.

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    These are just a few ideas to get the gears turning. These are simple examples, but don’t be afraid to show a little personality.

    4.) Bienvenue chez John Doe. Vous pouvez nous contacter pendant les heures de bureau du lundi au jeudi de 9h à midi et de 14h à 16h et le vendredi de 9h à midi. Nous vous invitons à nous donner votre demande par mail sur [email protected] et nous reviendrons vers vous dès que possible. Merci.
    Using concise and simple words in your scripting helps ensure callers can comprehend what is being said. Although a complete on-hold message can be quite lengthy, it should include concise and to the point single messages. Aim to get each message across in around 35 to 40 words. Remember, what may read great in written word doesn't necessary sound great said out aloud.

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    Call us on 1300 00 1300 or CLICK HERE to get in touch with one of our Business Consultants. We'll help you produce the perfect on hold message for your business. Female Voice Male VoiceGuide to On Hold MessagesScript TypesBusiness Intro & IVROn Hold Messages & Voicemail Greetings

    The answering machine was one of such great inventions that provided the public with the capability to record messages without answering them for decades before the invention of smartphones. The design of the answering machine was a team effort of various researchers that changed the telecom industry.
    6. samplemessages.com. Please give us a good call back number and you should receive a call within 20 minutes during our office hours of on weekdays. If you're calling during our non-office hours, after 5 pm or on weekends, please leave a detailed message about the problem you are experiencing and we'll have a plumber call back as soon as possible with an estimate for response time.

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    Press 1 to turn autoplay on and off. When autoplay is turned on and you call to listen to your messages, the messages will immediately start playing. If autoplay is off, then you will be presented with the main menu options to select from (e.g., 1- listen, 2 - send).

    "Look, I've had a really bad day. Yesterday too. And tomorrow doesn't look nearly as good. But, uh, if you want, go ahead and say a few words after the gunshot."
    11.) Добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко», к сожалению, вы позвонили нам в не рабочее время, или мы не можем принять ваш звонок в данный момент. Если вы хотите оставить нам сообщение, то, пожалуйста, обратитесь к нам по электронной почте [email protected] – мы свяжемся с вами как можно скорее. Для получения дополнительной информации о нас, пожалуйста, посетите наш сайт www.johndoe.de. Большое спасибо за ваш звонок.

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    check words for the English /oʊ/ vowel. Many non-native speakers make this more like a single vowel and it’s a double vowel so it should have /o/ and /ʊ/ smoothly joined together. Check it in the word ‘phone’ . Another double vowel to look out for in your Voicemail Greeting example is the diphthong vowel /eɪ/. This vowel is in words like ‘wait’ and ‘able’. Many people use the word ‘can’t’ in their Voicemail greeting example. This can be a trap for non-native English speakers. That’s why we chose ‘unable’ instead! Watch out for the word ‘can’t’! In American English and British English the vowel in ‘can’t’ is pronounced with the vowel /æ/ like in ‘pat’ – /kænt/.

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how do i retrieve messages from my answering machine remotely

People may not want to give information about who lives in their home to unknown callers for a variety of reasons. This information may be used by telemarketers who could then ask for you by name when they call again, scammers who might do the same, or people who are not interested in your welfare. Women living alone for instance may use the “we” instead of “I” to suggest more people living in a house, and can even opt for using the machine generated message or computer generated “male voice” instead of their own voice to increase their security at home. For personal security reasons, you might want to avoid indication of children in the home, too, and you certainly shouldn’t mention that you’re on vacation.

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Donald G. Gould, of Northwest Washington, is nothing if not au courant. Here's his message: "Hello. You have reached {the phone number} in the nation's capital, a city now permanently on the Dole and where even the best periodontist cannot cure Gingrichitis. Please leave your message."

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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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