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You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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10.) Hello, and welcome to John Doe. For technical reasons we can not take your call personally. Thank you for your understanding. We are working very hard on a solution. If you want, you can leave a message on our homepage www.johndoe.de - Thank you and goodbye.
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." .

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5. "Hello, [Person's name] is chasing new adventures and is no longer with [Company name]. Please forward all future requests to [New or interim person's name] at [phone number].
(From my Japanese friend in Toronto) He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave *sexy* message, I call sooner!

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Education Details: Outline to A Great Voicemail Message It is not our recommendation to let any patient reach your voicemail but of course, we do not expect your office phones to be answered 24 hours a day. There are going to be times when people reach your message, whether they call at night or weekend. It is
Custom Voicemail Greetings: Our pre-recorded on hold messages are available in 9 languages spoken by native speakers. We custom produce highest quality voicemail messages, IVR messages, on hold messages and announcements based on your individual scripts in multiple languages. We are looking forward to your call.

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You want to be able to easily access and change your greeting for holidays or emergencies. Ease of set-up and modification is vital to customizing and streamlining calls on an as-needed basis. Create a thorough and helpful voicemail script fit for your office Support and assist your customers in a positive and meaningful way Reduce workload on your medical receptionists Keep things in your medical office or dental office moving smoothly 24/7

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Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If you’re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages below.

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    Hello, you have reached Dr. X. Right now, I am with a patient, so I’m unable to respond to your call immediately. If you need help with a prescription, call number Y. If you need to book/modify an appointment, call number z. Please, leave your name, and phone number and reasons for calling.

    If you need to leave a voice mail message for a client, Smith offers these ideas on how to make the most of your message. “First, I am a big fan of the belt and suspender method,” she says. “So, the office would call; if the person is not there, the voice mail message is brief and is followed immediately with an email with all of the
    “Hey, this is [your name] over at [XYZ company]. So anyway I’m about to give in my resignation right now. Please don’t call here again. Just kidding!

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    Get professionally recorded messages uploaded to use with features such as Auto Attendant, Business Intro Message and Voice2Email.

    7. Could you suggest some voicemail greetings, I’m all out. It would be better if you left it to me as a message after the beep.
    8.) Welcome to the Service Department of the John Doe. Unfortunately, all lines are busy at the moment. Please leave a message after the tone with your name and phone number. We will call you back as soon as possible. We wish you a nice day.

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    Hello. Thank you for contacting [Business Name]. Unfortunately, we are not currently available at the moment. Our regular office hours are Monday through Friday, 8 am to 4 pm, closed during the weekend. Please leave a message along with your name and number, and we’ll get back to you as soon as possible.

    Here, the DUI lawyer ensures the clients are assured of help at the earliest and to tackle emergency situations he/she offers an alternate number.
    After you listen to each message, the commands shown above in BLUE are available.

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    You are living in 2020 and you do realize that your prospects can come to you anytime, which means you need to be catering to them whenever that happens, at 3 am in the morning or even at 11 pm in the night.

    “Hello, you’ve reached the Marketing Department at [XYZ Company]. All of our team members are currently working with other clients to [insert goal] and are unable to take your call.
    A business answering machine greeting is a message recorded on the voicemail or answering machine of a company. Since this message is going to be heard by at least some of your customers, you should be sure to keep the message professional. For the most part, you should not create a message that is silly or funny, but instead provide important and useful information in a way that is professional and fairly fast. You can, however, use the message as a quick opportunity to include a brief statement about a particular service you offer such as “Thank you for calling The House of Pies, home of the world famous zucchini and artichoke pie.”

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"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message."

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