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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.

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14. “Hello, you’ve reached [company]. If you’re looking for information on [X], please check out our [Facebook page, company website, etc.] If you want to know more about [Y], take a look at [Z page on our site, our YouTube channel, etc.] Still have more questions, or just want to hear our lovely voices? Leave your name and number, and we’ll return your call straight away.” .

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You’ve reached the (name) family. We can’t answer your call right now. So why don’t you leave your name, age, sex, height, weight, phone number, a short message, your social security number, credit card number, how many kids you have, your mother’s maiden name, along with the date and time you called us. And if you’ve survived this message and are still listening, your message better be important.
Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts

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You message should convey the same courtesy to your callers as a person would who is speaking to someone in your office. Saying things like "thank you for calling" and "have a nice day", in addition to watching your tone of voice, will help you to represent your office in a compassionate and professional manner.
Funny voicemail messages are an excellent alternative for people that are looking for that unique touch for something that seems really mundane. If you’re having trouble coming up with your own then you can check out some of the funny voicemail messages below.

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Press 1 to turn autoplay on and off. When autoplay is turned on and you call to listen to your messages, the messages will immediately start playing. If autoplay is off, then you will be presented with the main menu options to select from (e.g., 1- listen, 2 - send).

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>Check out these great Christmas voice mail message ideas from the folks at Smart on Hold

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    Some people are more interested in recording an answering machine greeting that gives just the bare minimum of information. Such a greeting might be: “You’ve reached 555-5555. Please leave a message and we’ll get back to you soon.” What this salutation may lack in imagination, it may make up for in personal security, especially if you’re getting calls from telemarketers. Note that you don’t give your name, don’t reveal who lives in your home, and don’t say that you’re not at home. Occasionally thieves do call a home to verify the person’s presence at home or lack thereof. You’re essentially not committing to anything but your phone number in this kind of message, and the short message is likely to please cellphone callers. An answering machine greeting for a home business could be used to promote products, such as makeup.

    5.) Benvenuti alla John Doe. Potete raggiungerci personalmente dal Lunedì al Venerdì dalle 7am alle 6pm e il Sabato dalle 10am all’1pm. Se volete effettuare un ordine o avete domande, si prega di lasciare il vostro nome, numero cliente e numero di telefono. Vi richiameremo al più presto possibile. Potete anche inviarci una e-mail a: [email protected]. Grazie per aver chiamato – arrivederci.
    “Congratulations! You’ve reached the right person! It’s [your name]. Unfortunately, you’ve called at the wrong time. Please leave a message with all your contact information, and I’ll call you back within 24 hours.”

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    8.) Benvenuti al Servizio Assistenza della John Doe. Purtroppo, tutte le linee sono occupate al momento. Si prega di lasciare un messaggio dopo il segnale con il vostro nome e numero di telefono. Vi richiameremo al più presto possibile. Vi auguriamo una buona giornata.

    Education Details: The business voicemail messages and greeting are frequently changed to suit your specific type of business. It is good for the business owner to know exactly what the clients would like to hear if they do not get hold of a person on the phone. Operating hours should be clearly stipulated. Below is a sample of greetings and voicemail for
    After you listen to each message, the commands shown above in BLUE are available.

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    The way all your words and sentences come together gives your script a distinct written tone. Combine that with a specific speaking tone to create an on-hold message that reinforces your brand and product set. Selecting the correct tones will ensure your intended message is communicated effectively. If your target market is the younger generation, then a tone which embodies fun and excitement would be most suitable.

    7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.
    Hi. I am probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.

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    You can definitely convert your home, office, or cell phone greetings that show a bit of your unique personality. Depending on what type of calls come in and where you’re receiving them, you too can have fun selecting serious, unique, interesting, or funny voicemail greetings.

    -…and I’ll return your call as soon as possible. I would have answered, but I was already on the phone with Bill Gates—I swear.
    Leave your name, number, and a brief message so that we can assist you when we’re back in the office and five pounds heavier. Thank you and enjoy your holiday. In closing, this guide should highlight that the options for professional, friendly, interesting, impressive, and concise voicemail greetings are as broad as the imagination.

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When your business is closed for vacation or holidays, it’s imperative that you set appropriate expectations for a callback and to provide an alternative coverage option, if available. The following greeting accomplishes this succinctly.

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This is not an answering machine–this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I’ll think about returning your call.

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There is no definitive answer here, but you should include one of the two at the beginning of your message based on what makes the most sense.

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