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People may not want to give information about who lives in their home to unknown callers for a variety of reasons. This information may be used by telemarketers who could then ask for you by name when they call again, scammers who might do the same, or people who are not interested in your welfare. Women living alone for instance may use the “we” instead of “I” to suggest more people living in a house, and can even opt for using the machine generated message or computer generated “male voice” instead of their own voice to increase their security at home. For personal security reasons, you might want to avoid indication of children in the home, too, and you certainly shouldn’t mention that you’re on vacation.

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Website: https://weirdomatic.com/weird-and-funny-answering-machine-messages-thatll-make-you-laugh.html
10.) Hello, and welcome to John Doe. For technical reasons we can not take your call personally. Thank you for your understanding. We are working very hard on a solution. If you want, you can leave a message on our homepage www.johndoe.de - Thank you and goodbye. .

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Choose from male or female voice talent, and from multiple voice tones including natural, energetic and professional. Select one that best suits your brand and industry. Our Voice Artists are some of the most experienced in Australia and have produced countless voice overs including TV and Radio Ads.
Hi there! You’ve reached the sewer on the next street. I can’t get to the phone right now, but if you take a wee walk, I’ll be at the sewer grate with the red balloon…floating. Please feel free to join me.

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2.) Welcome to John Doe. Unfortunately you are calling us outside our normal business hours. Personally you can reach us Monday to Friday from 8am 6pm and Saturday from 9am to 4pm. Please leave a message, or send us an email to: [email protected]. We will contact you as soon as possible - Thank you.
Professional Voicemail Greeting Example. Hello. You have reached the voicemail of {insert name}. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and {he/she}will return your call as soon as possible.Thank you and have a great day. Get more …

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"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."

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4. Funny Voicemail Greetings. Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [X company]. We are busy trying to save the world by [what your company does best]. If you want to learn more about how we do it, please leave us your name and phone number, and we will get back to you as soon as our mission is complete— which should be fairly soon.

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    1. Share basic information: “Hello! You’ve reached the voicemail of [your name], [your job title]. I’m currently either away from my desk or on the other line.

    Do you have a landline at work? Make sure that all your phones, personal and business, have good clear, professional English voicemail greetings.
    Audio files are optimized and delivered to you for the highest quality phone system playback.

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    To improve a a business voicemail greeting, keep these eight rules at the forefront of the creative process: Avoid turning customers off with overused and impersonal phrases like “your call is very important to us..." Avoid leaving customers unsure by not immediately telling them the business, department, and/or person they’ve reached. Avoid leaving customers confused with too many details and complications; just keep it simple. Avoid messages longer than 25 seconds. Do apologize for being unavailable at the moment. Do invite the caller to leave a message. Do tell the caller when they can expect a return call and actually follow through within that timeframe. Do tell the caller about any applicable alternative options of contact and information- website, live chat, email, social media, or emergency numbers. Voicemail Greetings 101

    7. “Hi, this is [your name]. I’m either on a call or away from my desk. Please leave your name, number, and a brief message and I’ll get back to you. Thank you.”
    12.) Bem-vindo a John Doe. Você pode nos contatar de segunda a sexta das 08:00 ao Meio dia e meio e das 13:00 às 16:30 horas. Nós não podemos atender a sua ligação no momento. Por favor, deixe uma mensagem com seu nome e número de telefone e nós ligaremos volta o mais rápido possível. Em caso de urgência, favor ligar para o número 0821 91039- 1211. Muito obrigado.

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    5. Hello. I’m home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it.

    You can also set a new PIN when you know your current PIN. Dial *98 from your home phone and enter your current PIN. For settings, press 4 For security options, press 3 To change your PIN, press 1 Enter your new PIN (4-15 digits) To confirm, enter your new PIN again Step 4: Choose a voice mail greeting
    "Look, I've had a really bad day. Yesterday too. And tomorrow doesn't look nearly as good. But, uh, if you want, go ahead and say a few words after the gunshot."

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    Hello. You’ve reached the offices of [Business Name]. At present, our office is closed for repairs. However, you may reach us at our temporary location, at 555-555-3432. There, we will be able to pick up your call, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Thank you.

    6.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Por razones técnicas no podemos atender su llamada. Si lo desea, puede escribirnos un correo electrónico a [email protected]. Uno de nuestros empleados le contestará lo antes posible. Disculpe las molestias. Gracias por su comprensión.
    To create a greater sense of authority, and that you are somebody important, list the name of a person and company who you've worked with before, especially if that person and company is a direct competitor of the person you are calling. Nothing grabs the interest of the person you are calling faster than hearing the name of their main competitor.

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-This is you-know who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when.

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"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

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Call to record your voicemail greeting. To change or record your voicemail greeting: From your: Wireless phone: Press and hold 1 or the Voicemail key. AT&T Wireless Home Phone: Dial 1 from your connected home phone. Enter your voicemail password if prompted. In the Main Menu, press 4 for Personal Options. Press 3 to Change Greetings.

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For more general advice on voicemail messages, read our tips and examples for business voicemail greetings. Phones Download OnSIP apps Promo Offer Purchase OnSIP Phones Resources Educational Content OnSIP Help Pages OnSIP Network Status Contact 1 (800) 801 3381 OnSIP Team Directory Email Us Work with us Become a Partner Developer Tools About Us

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