And this one (from Brad Lund, of Baltimore) made me giggle loudest and longest: "This is the Lund residence. The answering machine is on vacation. This is the refrigerator speaking. State your message slowly and clearly. I'll write it down and stick it to myself with one of those little magnets."
We’re keeping it simple with this one. Just a few basic elements to help you get started. As long as you know who your audience is, the message you wish to convey, and the information you need from the caller, the rest should fall into place quite nicely. Let’s face it, a voicemail greeting for a lumber company will probably be different than that of a psychologist’s office. One greeting is aimed at securing potential customers, and the other is geared towards appointments, more or less. Once you are certain who your caller is, the better your voicemail. Center on your audience, first and foremost. Knowing what to relate ensures that your caller will leave the right message. For instance, if you’re a retail store, you would include your hours of operations, and perhaps any specials that you’re running. If you are a therapist’s office, then you’d need to include an alternate number in case a patient is having an issue and requires immediate help. Again, this will vary depending on the business. Here, a therapist would definitely request the caller leave their contact information. However, a retail store chain might not request that. There are also complex voicemail systems such as those used by mobile phone services, which ask you to press a certain number on your phone, where you are asked to leave your account information. Again, as you can see, it all boils down to the demographics of your callers, and what you need from them to conduct the best business possible. Depending on the situation, your caller might be in a good mood or not. In either case, they’ll probably be eagerly awaiting your call. So, it stands to reason that you only promise them a call back if you can deliver. In other words, if you’re a small shop and you’ve decided to close due to a much-needed sabbatical, then don’t leave a voicemail greeting where you promise them to call right back. However, if you have an active customer service staff, then you can promise to return their call within the same day.

You might also consider giving them the option to skip your voicemail message completely by pressing another key (again, check with IT). You also want to make callers aware what you will return their call, instead of telling them that you will try to return their call--and let them know when you are likely to do it, if possible. If necessary, provide additional or emergency information in your voicemail greetings. My dentist, for example, lists his cell phone number for emergencies.
Sample Voice Prompts for Health Care INTRODUCTION therapy, etc. A well designed auto attendant system can guide patients to the right locations at the right times – and can refer the caller to a web-based map or directions resource. Please leave a message stating your name, phone number and the test you need to make an appointment for