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Website: https://talkroute.com/12-fun-professional-business-voicemail-greetings/

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Website: http://allowe.com/laughs/book/88 Creative Answering Machine Messages.htm
Standard greeting with your number: "At the tone, please record your message to [your phone number]." .

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Finally get an answering machine. Now how does this thing work? Hmmm. Press record button, I did that, and the light should be on. I wonder why it’s not working right. Hmmmm, I wonder what this button does……
In response to smartphones becoming more affordable and accessible to the consumer market, businesses have migrated to mobile platforms, repackaging their services to be used “on-the-go.” Business is no longer restricted to the office – word processing, payments, email, printing, meetings, and more can all be done from a smartphone.

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Give The Caller Instructions: Instruct the callers what topics you want them to leave voicemails for, and what topics you want them to call back for during office hours.
5. Away/Vacation Voicemail Greeting Samples. “Hello, this is [Name] at [Company.] I will be out of the office for the week of [dates]. Please leave your name, number, and the reason for your call, and I will reply within 24 hours of my return. If you prefer, you can try me on my cell, [number].

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On a psychiatrist's phone: "Please emit verbal response at the auditory stimulus."

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5. Offering the Operator First. You’ve reached [Company Name], the [company’s slogan]. Please choose from the following menu options: To speak with the operator, press 0.

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    Happy [Monday!] You’ve reached [Jessica on the Business Development Team at LinkedPhone]. I’m presently out of the office [for a meeting until late this afternoon]. Please include your name, number and the reason for your call and I’ll get back to you ASAP. Thank you and have a fantastic day!

    You don't have to be a large national business to make an impression with your callers. On hold messages are ideal for SME businesses to sound just as professional.
    Press 3 to skip PIN entry when accessing messages from home. You will still need to enter your password if you check messages away from home. Turn on Skip PIN. Press 1 to change your PIN.

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    Business voicemail greetings are rarely thought of as a prime way to connect with customers. But just because you're not available doesn't mean you can't make a positive impression on your customers when they reach your voicemail box.

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    -Hi, you’ve reached _____________. Please leave a message after my kid stops (awkward moment of silence) owwwwwwwwwww that hurt!… continuing… after my kid stops hitting me in the back with his hockey stick! BEEP

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    24. "Thank you for calling [company]. We're closed for [holiday] from [date] until [date]. Please leave your message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a happy holiday season!"

    7. A Classic Hepburn Answering Greeting for Voicemails. Katharine Hepburn’s iconic and feisty voice goes down in history and can add a bit of moxie to your voicemail greeting.
    A bubble in the space-time continuum has connected your line to a channeler in the 23rd Century. Any message you leave will be broadcast into the future….

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    In 1935, Willy Müller invented the world’s first automatic answering machine. It was a three-foot-tall machine popular with Orthodox Jews who were forbidden to answer the phone on the Sabbath. Then in 1960, the Ansafone, created by inventor Dr. Kazuo Hashimoto (Phonetel), was the first answering machine sold in the USA.

    Tricia has a Literature degree from Sonoma State University and has been a frequent contributor for many years. She is especially passionate about reading and writing, although her other interests include medicine, art, film, history, politics, ethics, and religion. Tricia lives in Northern California and is currently working on her first novel. Tricia Christensen You might also Like Recommended anon347709 September 9, 2013
    Thanks for calling Dial-A-Shrink. I can’t come to the phone right now, so after the tone, please leave your name and number, then talk briefly about your childhood and tell me what comes to mind when you hear the following words: orange… mother… unicorn… penis. I’ll get back to you with my diagnosis as soon as possible.

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If they are calling without an expectation that you always pick up (such as if you are a business coach or a one-man shop) then thanking them for calling might make the most sense.

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7. I can’t come to the phone right now because I’m down in the basement printing up a fresh new batch of twenty-dollar bills. If you need any money, or if you just want to check out my handiwork, please leave your name, number, and how much cash you need after the tone.

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11.) Welcome to John Doe, unfortunately you have reached us outside business hours, or we can not take your call at the moment. If you want to leave us a message, then please send us an email to [email protected] - We will contact you as soon as possible. For more information about us please visit our our website www.johndoe.de. Many thanks for your call.

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HI, you’ve reached (name). I’m so sorry I can’t pick up the call right now because I am standing right behind you. GOTCHA.

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