funny answering machine messages you can use

True emergencies - such as extraordinary weather - should be addressed in your voicemail if it impacts your business. Thank you for calling the Carona Surf Shop. We are currently closed due to the inclement weather. Our normal business hours are Monday through Saturday, 10 am to 9 pm. Please visit www.caronasurfshop.com to order merchandise and to check our schedule during the hurricane.

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Some people are more interested in recording an answering machine greeting that gives just the bare minimum of information. Such a greeting might be: “You’ve reached 555-5555. Please leave a message and we’ll get back to you soon.” What this salutation may lack in imagination, it may make up for in personal security, especially if you’re getting calls from telemarketers. Note that you don’t give your name, don’t reveal who lives in your home, and don’t say that you’re not at home. Occasionally thieves do call a home to verify the person’s presence at home or lack thereof. You’re essentially not committing to anything but your phone number in this kind of message, and the short message is likely to please cellphone callers. An answering machine greeting for a home business could be used to promote products, such as makeup.
Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers. .

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8.) Herzlich Willkommen in der Service Abteilung der Mustermann GmbH. Leider sind im Augenblick alle Leitungen belegt. Bitte hinterlassen Sie nach dem Signalton eine Nachricht mit Ihrem Namen und Ihrer Telefonnummer. Wir rufen Sie baldmöglichst zurück. Wir wünschen Ihnen einen schönen Tag.
There you have it, a basic introduction into how to write the best voicemail greetings. As you have seen, they’re not as easy as you’d think, but once you get comfortable with the type of information required by each, writing and recording your own should be a piece of cake. If you’ve tried to write one yourself and still don’t ‘feel you’ve captured the right essence, then please look at one of our voicemails greeting templates. When it comes to recording it, remember to rehearse your script and speak clearly. If you don’t care for your own voice, then have someone else record it, or hire a professional voice actor. Remember, there are also free audio editing software programs like Audacity, where you can manipulate your recording until you get exactly what you want.

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Hello. You’ve reached the offices of [Business Name]. At present, our office is closed for repairs. However, you may reach us at our temporary location, at 555-555-3432. There, we will be able to pick up your call, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Thank you.
You readers didn't disappoint. I asked for the most clever phone answering machine messages in all creation (or at least in all of Beltwayland). I thought these were the best:

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Jason is PCMag's how to content generator. He believes tech corporations are bad, but you might as well know how to use technology in everyday life. He is a Mac owner, Android user, dark mode advocate, and tech bargain hunter. Before joining PCMag, Jason was a technical writer, copywriter, and all-around freelancer covering baseball, comics, and more at various outlets. When not writing and editing, he is either reading comic books, playing his Nintendo Switch, hanging out with his wife and two cats, or some combination of the three. Read the latest from Jason Cohen How to Use Widgets in Windows 11 How to Enable Dark Mode on Your Browser Windows 11's Taskbar Puts App Icons Front and Center: Here's How to Customize It These Websites Suffered the Most Outages Over the Past Year How to Use Bluetooth Headphones With the Nintendo Switch More from Jason Cohen facebook twitter flipboard google instagram pinterest

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3. "Hey, this is [your name]. If you're calling for [X reason], please [contact so-and-so] or [go to our website, send me an email]. For all other inquiries, leave your name and a brief message and I'll call you back within [one, two, three] business day[s].

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Your phone system greeting is the first thing callers hear. Set the right tone from the very start with professional greetings.

10. Introduce Yourself Like a Hollywood Blockbuster. If you want to make a custom, Hollywood’esque gesture in your next outgoing message, may we suggest having a booming voice introduce you.
Happy [Monday!] You’ve reached [Jessica on the Business Development Team at LinkedPhone]. I’m presently out of the office [for a meeting until late this afternoon]. Please include your name, number and the reason for your call and I’ll get back to you ASAP. Thank you and have a fantastic day!
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7. “Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [your company]. Sorry I missed your call. I’m especially busy today, but if you leave me your name, phone number, and a brief message, I’ll get back to you within the day. Chat soon!” Your callers want to hear from you soon. Calling back within the business day lets them know you’re reliable despite how busy you are.

Most households have automated machine greetings that sound very monotonous when someone calls. No originality, no flare, and absolutely no vigor; doesn’t really make things better for the callers. Nonetheless, you don’t have to be stuck with such boring and lifeless greetings. You can definitely convert your home, office, or cell phone greetings that show a bit of your unique personality. Depending on what type of calls come in and where you’re receiving them, you too can have fun selecting serious, unique, interesting, or funny voicemail greetings. The following greetings will help you decide or inspire you into selecting one (or more) voice mail for yourself.
Press 1 to turn autoplay on and off. When autoplay is turned on and you call to listen to your messages, the messages will immediately start playing. If autoplay is off, then you will be presented with the main menu options to select from (e.g., 1- listen, 2 - send).
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Website: https://www.amazingvoice.com/blog/10-best-professional-voicemail-greetings

3. Hi. I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s you.
In all there is plenty to consider when you’re recording an answering machine greeting. If you’re aiming toward a more secure home, you can use a very basic message. If you are really funny, and friends and family mostly use the phone line, maybe funny is the best way to go. For businesses, stick with the bare facts that give enough information to callers about when their call is likely to be returned or when they should call again. Tricia Christensen
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How to record or change your Android voicemail greeting in 10 simple steps. 1. Turn on your phone and launch the Phone app. Turn the power on for your phone. Then, tap the Phone app. 2. Open the dial pad. Tap the dial pad icon near the bottom of the screen to bring up your phone's dial pad. 3.

In the case that your business is closed due to an emergency, it's only worth it to go into detail if the problem is affecting everyone in the area. Otherwise, stick to your Company Wide Voicemail Greeting, but remove the stated hours and tell callers that you're currently closed. Thank you for calling Cutlass Technology. Our store is currently closed. Please leave your name and phone number so that someone from our team can follow up with you. For more information, please visit www.cutlasstechnology.com
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Hello! You’ve reached [LinkedPhone’s Tech Support Team]. We are currently closed but we’re always eager to help. Our regular business hours are from [9am to 7pm Easter Standard Time, 7 days a week]. Please include your name, number, and a short description of the issue you’re experiencing. We promise to return your call by the end of the next business day. [If this is an urgent matter, press ‘0’ to be connected with our VIP support team]. Thank you.

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11.) Bem-vindo a John Doe, infelizmente, você nos ligou fora do horário comercial ou não podemos atender a sua chamada no momento. Se você quiser nos deixar uma mensagem, por favor envie um e-mail para [email protected] - Entraremos em contato o mais rápido possível. Para mais informações sobre nós, por favor visite o nosso site www.johndoe.de. Muito obrigado pela sua ligação.

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You may additionally want to bear in mind that people might be calling you from their cellphones, and a long message can use up someone’s valuable cellphone minutes. Some voicemail systems have the option of pressing a key like the pound key to immediately start recording a message; you may want to consider the funny or long message only if you have this option available to callers. Another point of consideration when recording an answering machine greeting is who is likely to call. If you’re job hunting, for instance, you may want to drop the funny salutation for a while, and use a more standard and businesslike greeting, unless you’re applying for jobs as a comic. Is Amazon actually giving you the best price? This little known plugin reveals the answer. Some answering machines utilize cassette tapes.