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8. "Hi, you've reached [your name]. I'm unable to come to the phone right now. But if you leave your name, number, and a short message, I'll be sure to call back."

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5. Road side cafe; you kill them and we’ll cook them. Leave your order and we’ll get back.
Funny voicemail greetings are just that. These types of greetings have no rules whatsoever. They’re just for funsies, so make those you care for the laugh. Most of the time, they are personal, but certain businesses can use them as well. Perhaps you operate a theatrical costume company that specializes in clown memorabilia, or perhaps you run a business that sells pranks, such as plastic puppy poo, and whoopee cushions. .

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20. “Hey there! Thanks for calling [company]. We are unable to answer the phone right now but will get back to you right after the holidays. We hope it’s not an emergency, but if so, we’ve got you covered. Contact us at [company email/other support lines] and we’ll get back to you ASAP. Please be sure to leave your name, phone number, and a brief message to let us know the reason for your call. Thank you and have a great day.” Available even during holiday emergencies? Let your callers know via your voicemail greeting.
While missed calls aren’t ideal, you can let your caller know you’re still there for them by having a great voicemail greeting. The best business voicemail greetings let your customers (and potential customers) know why you’re not available and how they can best get in contact with your business. They are also short and to the point. You usually want to keep your greeting between 6 and 24 seconds long so callers don’t hang up halfway through.

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If you have a main business phone number that’s shared with the customers or publicly listed, you’ll want to make sure it has a professional voicemail message to greet callers. Here are sample greetings you can use to help you craft your own.
6. Vacation Voicemail Greetings. Hey, this is [your name] at [X company]. I am actually on a break at the moment, on the other side of the world! Please direct all phone calls to [alternate contact name] at [phone number] and emails to [X email address].

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Length – if your callers typically wait 2 minutes at a time, then at least 2 minutes of programming should be the goal. The idea is to ensure the callers don’t hear repeated messages every time they call. A typical on-hold message is 4-8 minutes in length.

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Business professionals are also encouraged to keep their voicemail organized. Delete any messages from the office phone that are no longer necessary after calls are returned, and write down any phone numbers that are needed at the time the message is listened to. If modern voicemail service is utilized, such as that supplied by Voicemail Office, in which voicemail and fax messages are received in a staff member’s email inbox, the individual should write a short explanation in the body of the email if forwarding any voicemail messages to other staff members.

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    Out of town? Your callers should know. Let them know with the following vacation voicemail greetings.

    Home » Lists » 21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages21 Funny Answering Machine (Voicemail) Messages
    Hi! I told you never to call me at this number. But since you did, I left the knife on your back porch…Check to see I got all the blood off. Don’t forget to leave a message, and we’ll talk about the…plan.

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    Virtual events are very much like many other kinds of meetings; only they take place over the internet. This technology allows visitors and businesses to collaborate, share information, connect with...

    People have short attention spans these days, and you should always craft your communications for the lowest common denominator with something as universal as your voicemail.
    Choose words and expressions that complement your business, brand and industry. As an example, a construction company would use words and expressions that convey high quality and solid workmanship; while a florist would use sensory descriptions that arouse smell and beauty.

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    Your business depends on customer engagement, and voicemail messages are a large part of that engagement. A voicemail is nothing more than a digital recording system, where messages are stored for you to retrieve later. Voicemail allows you to be able to connect with customers while you are away or during your off-hours, where they can drop off a message while you are gone. A voicemail greeting, on the other hand, refers to the message that your callers hear upon answering the phone.

    On hold messages can be recorded for many purposes, such as promoting your business, answering FAQs or announcing important customer service information. It's important to be clear in the message you are trying to get across. Confusion leads to disengagement and reflects badly on the brand. Determining your callers' wait times is necessary to determine the required length of the on-hold message. Making the recording too short can lead to the message being played too many times. This can be repetitive and lose the caller's attention while they hold.
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    Using humor is appropriate in some situations, but humor should be avoided in situations including serious businesses where reputations could be damaged or people could become upset. Both funny and sincere examples are included for a variety of options. These answering machine messages are the type that most people leave. These can be used for non-business or personal phones. Hi, you've reached ___-____. Please leave a message and I'll get back with you soon. Thanks. You know what to do. Thanks for calling. Just leave a message and we’ll get back with you. We’re sorry we can’t answer the phone right now, but we would love to get back with you as soon as we can. Just let us know what we can help you with and leave a number for us to get back with you soon. You've reached the voice mail of ______. I'm either away from my phone or talking with someone else. Leave me a message and I'll be happy to return your call. Hi. I must be away from my phone at the moment. Please leave me a message. I'll get back to you. These business answering messages can be edited to fit any type of business. It is important to anticipate what your callers may want to know even if the callers are not able to get anyone on the phone. It's always a good idea to let callers know exactly when their calls may be returned and to list the operating hours.

    Communication » Messages & Wishes » 36+ Witty Voicemail Greetings ideas 36+ Witty Voicemail Greetings ideas. Voicemails don’t necessarily have to be monotonous or extremely jazzy or funky. What you should be looking for is a balance between the two. -So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to
    Hello, you have reached Dr. X. Right now, I am with a patient, so I’m unable to respond to your call immediately. If you need help with a prescription, call number Y. If you need to book/modify an appointment, call number z. Please, leave your name, and phone number and reasons for calling.

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"If you are a burglar, then we're at home cleaning our weapons and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave us a message."

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Professional Voicemail Greeting Example. Hello. You have reached the voicemail of {insert name}. Please leave your name, phone number, and a brief message, and {he/she}will return your call as soon as possible.Thank you and have a great day. Get more …

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2. Mention Hours of Operation Upfront. Most callers expect their call to be answered. Once they realize that your office is currently closed, the most important piece of information they probably want to know is your standard business hours.

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8. Advertise Holiday Sales. Thank you for calling [Company Name]. To celebrate the holiday season, we are offering limited-time discounts on all purchases.

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