You’ve reached the (name) family. We can’t answer your call right now. So why don’t you leave your name, age, sex, height, weight, phone number, a short message, your social security number, credit card number, how many kids you have, your mother’s maiden name, along with the date and time you called us. And if you’ve survived this message and are still listening, your message better be important.
As the odds of receiving a call back from your voicemail message are already low, you need to be very specific about what you say in your voicemail to give you the greatest chance of getting a call back. What you absolutely do NOT want to do is make yourself sound like a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, you want to sound like a very confident business colleague who deserves the respect of getting a call back.

We’re all familiar with this type of voicemail greeting. Simply put, a caller reaches you by dialing your number or extension directly. For an optimal personal voicemail greeting, be clear about who you are, the team you’re on, and when the caller can expect a callback. Unlike company and department voicemail greetings, you may not be able to configure a greeting for open and closed business hours. If that’s the case, use a general voicemail greeting that accommodates both scenarios.
When I was in my 20s, I had an answering machine with a 30 second outgoing message tape. I thought it would be fun to come up with all sorts of cute or funny messages for my friends to hear just before the beep. It got pretty elaborate sometimes, with celebrity impersonations and movie spoofs and other things. I didn't usually get many important phone calls anyway, so I didn't see any harm in being funny for the few people who did call.