"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."
OK, so I followed all the instructions that came with the machine. I pressed all the necessary buttons. So… now what? I… am… so… confused. Could you please… beep.
.
Whoopee, a call. I wonder who this could be? No…wait…don’t tell me…Oh yeah. Sorry, you bore me.
Before you leave a message, I’d like to ask a question. How can someone keep a dork in suspense? Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you on that one.
That’s why it’s critical that each customer interaction with your business is consistent, positive, and represents the values and personality of your company. This includes your storefront, website, social media presence, emails, and every interaction you have with your customers, both online and in-person.
4. Hello… pause. Hello… long pause. Who is this? long pause again Is anyone on the line?… long pause and beep sound.
Answering Machine Messages (Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number.
Hello. You’ve reached the offices of [Business Name]. At present, our office is closed for repairs. However, you may reach us at our temporary location, at 555-555-3432. There, we will be able to pick up your call, 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Thank you.
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6. Keep Your Recording Up to Date. If your business is closing on one of its normal operating days for a holiday, or is dealing with an emergency or unforseen situation, you should update your after hours announcement to avoid confusion.
Thank you for your patience and understanding during this time. I will respond as soon as possible.
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Call the CenturyLink voicemail retrieval number from any phone. The retrieval number is located on your welcome letter, or you can get it by calling our automated help system at 1-800-669-7676. Set your ring cycle
I can’t answer the phone right now, but if you leave me a message with your name and phone number, I will return your call as soon as possible. You have reached Jim Bucki. I can’t take your call at the moment but please don’t hesitate to leave a message after the tone. I will return your call as soon as I am able.
12.) Bienvenido/a a John Doe. Puede contactar con nosotros de lunes a viernes de 8:00h a 12:30h y de 13:00h a 16:30h. En estos momentos no podemos atenderle personalmente. Por favor, deje un mensaje con su nombre y número de teléfono y le devolveremos la llamada tan pronto como sea posible. Para casos urgentes puede contactarnos al teléfono 0821 91039- 1211. Muchas gracias.
Here’s another funny one for those times you really want to lighten the business mood:
-So long as phones can ring and eyes can see, leave a message, and I’ll get back to thee.