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"You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of *your* voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you."

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Do you find yourself putting pen to paper, staring blankly at the wall, searching for just what to say? Well, know that it happens to the best of us. To help you out, we’ve included some voicemail greeting samples for you to look at. Both the 10 formal and 10 informal samples should give you the prompting you need to start crafting your own voicemail script.
"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you." .

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Below are some of the best clean funny answering machine (voicemail) messages! Want to know the best part? You can try using them in your answering machine or voice mailbox life.
There you have it, a basic introduction into how to write the best voicemail greetings. As you have seen, they’re not as easy as you’d think, but once you get comfortable with the type of information required by each, writing and recording your own should be a piece of cake. If you’ve tried to write one yourself and still don’t ‘feel you’ve captured the right essence, then please look at one of our voicemails greeting templates. When it comes to recording it, remember to rehearse your script and speak clearly. If you don’t care for your own voice, then have someone else record it, or hire a professional voice actor. Remember, there are also free audio editing software programs like Audacity, where you can manipulate your recording until you get exactly what you want.

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3. 88 Creative Answering Machine Messages. Please leave a message and I'll get back with you soon. You know what to do. Thanks for calling. Just let us know what we can help you with and leave a number for us to get back with you soon.
If you do not want to use your voicemail and would like to turn it off, please contact us to remove the service from your number. At this time, there is no self-service option for turning off voicemail. Funny Voicemail Greetings, Answering Machine Messages & Pa Announcements 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 Telephone Voiceovers and Messages Guided Meditation Internet Service Terms Apple Music & Privacy Cookie Warning Support Feedback My Post My Reading List Account Settings Newsletters & alerts Gift subscriptions Contact us Help desk My Post My Reading List Account Settings Newsletters & alerts Gift subscriptions Contact us Help desk

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4. Give them a realistic expectation: “Congratulations! You’ve reached the right person! It’s [your name]. Unfortunately, you’ve called at the wrong time. Please leave a message with all your contact information, and I’ll call you back within 24 hours.”

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Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

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    5. Offering the Operator First. You’ve reached [Company Name], the [company’s slogan]. Please choose from the following menu options: To speak with the operator, press 0.
    The other problem with creating humorous messages is that occasionally someone with actual information will call. Potential employers, current bosses and clergy may not appreciate sitting through a PG-13 outgoing announcement before leaving an important message. Length is another consideration. Many people prefer an answering machine's outgoing message to be as brief and as professional as possible. Unless you own a business where listing hours of operation or contact numbers is important, try not to go past 15 seconds on an outgoing message. Post your comments Please enter the following code: Login: Forgot password? Register:

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    Hello! Thanks for calling [LinkedPhone’s Customer Success Team]. We are currently helping other customers achieve their goals and want to do the same for you! Please leave a message with your name, number, and a brief description of how we can serve you. We promise to return your call [before close of business today]. In the interim, you can also check out our website at [linkedphone.com] for helpful answers to our most common requests. Thank you.

    7. “Hi, you’ve reached [your name] at [your company]. Sorry I missed your call. I’m especially busy today, but if you leave me your name, phone number, and a brief message, I’ll get back to you within the day. Chat soon!” Your callers want to hear from you soon. Calling back within the business day lets them know you’re reliable despite how busy you are.
    10.) Здравствуйте, и добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко». По техническим причинам мы не можем ответить на ваш звонок лично. Спасибо за ваше понимание. Мы активно работаем над устранением неполадок. Если пожелаете, вы можете оставить сообщение на нашем сайте www.johndoe.de – спасибо и до свидания.

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    Having a dedicated emergency contact will help make sure anything important that comes up is taken care of. Another option is directing callers to a separate answering service.

    26. Thank you for calling [your name] at [company name]. Unfortunately, I can’t take your call right now. Please leave your name, number and a message, and I will call you back as soon as I have the opportunity.
    This is the message that is used in personal physical answering machines and in the network answering machines offered by telephone operators. ORDER YOUR MESSAGES This is the voicemail of the lawyer John Smith, the lawyer can not answer at the moment, leave a message after the tone and you’ll be called back as soon as possible.

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    *Note: Some of your users don’t celebrate all the same holidays you do. Remember to keep these voicemail greetings neutral 🌟

    Press 3 (Voicemail Preferences) and then press 1 to turn date and time on and off. Turn off the date and time so you don't hear them automatically. When you do need to know, you can press 5 during or after the message. Send group messages
    Not only did mobile phones make home phones unnecessary for many, but the ability to send and receive text messages or emails on a smart phone made calls themselves feel unnecessary. Even in many workplaces, answering the phone is now either impossible due to nonstop time demands or discouraged by company cultures that prioritize digital

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28. Hey, there. You’ve reached [your name]. Please leave me a brief message about the reason you are calling and your contact information. I will call you right back at the earliest opportunity. Have a nice day!

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5. Holiday Voicemail Greetings. Happy [X holiday]! You've reached [your name] at [X company]. I am currently out of the office, but please leave me your name, phone number, and the reason you are calling, and I’ll return your call after the holidays.

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for COVID-19 Related Messages. Snap Recordings is waiving rush delivery fees for all phone messages related to the coronavirus for customers who need a more customized recording. Checkout of your order with standard delivery. Send us your order ID via chat or at [email protected] and we will expedite your order at no charge.

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You can also use the Slydial app for iOS or Android. Create a free account with the service, then choose a contact through the app or manually enter a phone number. Once the app has connected the call, leave a voicemail, and hang up when you're finished.

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