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"Look, I've had a really bad day. Yesterday too. And tomorrow doesn't look nearly as good. But, uh, if you want, go ahead and say a few words after the gunshot."

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You might call this one Current Events Run Wild: "Hey, this is Sally. I can't come to the phone right now. Kato and I are at McDonald's."
Our previous post on funny voicemail greetings got so much attention, we thought we’d continue the hilarity with even more of your favorite greetings that you can use. Here’s the latest batch: I have nothing to say to you. So leave a message. “Think fast!” *beep* Hi, you’ve reached _____. .

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When you leave a voicemail do not use your full name because that immediately raises a red flat that you are a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, say your first name only followed by your company name. This will make your customer feel that you are much more familiar with each other than you really are. Saying your last name would defeat the whole purpose of demonstrating familiarity.
No one should be calling during the holidays, and yet some people do. When you’re out for the holidays, create a voicemail greeting that communicates the cheerfulness of the season while still staying professional.

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Whether you’re out for the day or are off for the week, the first rule of an out of office voicemail greeting is: let callers know when you’ll be back! You’ll save them the frustration of continuing to call and yourself the hassle of listening to redundant voicemails. It’s also a good idea to set the expectation of whether you are answering messages while you’re away, and who they can reach for assistance in your absence.
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Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, [insert office name] continues to operate remotely during our regular business hours (8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., Monday to Friday).

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When you leave a voicemail do not use your full name because that immediately raises a red flat that you are a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, say your first name only followed by your company name. This will make your customer feel that you are much more familiar with each other than you really are. Saying your last name would defeat the whole purpose of demonstrating familiarity.

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    Website: https://www.amazingvoice.com/blog/10-best-professional-voicemail-greetings

    I have amnesia and can’t come to the phone at the moment. I feel stupid talking to everyone that I don’t know. So why don’t you forget about leaving your original message, and instead tell me my name and something important about myself. Thanks a lot.
    2. Hello, you have reached the office of [your name]; I will be out of my office starting on [date] and will be returning on [date]. You can call me when I return or leave a brief message. If this is an emergency I can be reached on my cell, which is [your number].

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    9.) Bienvenue chez John Doe. Malheureusement, il n'y a personne dans le bureau à l'heure actuelle. Laissez votre nom et numéro de téléphone après la tonalité. Nous vous rappellerons dès que possible.

    5.) Добро пожаловать в «Вася Пупкин и Ко». Лично вы можете связаться с нами с понедельника по пятницу с 7 утра до 6 вечера, и по субботам с 10 утра до 13.00. Если вы хотите сделать заказ или задать вопрос, тогда, пожалуйста, оставьте ваше имя, укажите заказчика и номер телефона. Мы вам перезвоним как можно скорее. Вы всегда можете связаться с нами по электронной почте [email protected]. Большое спасибо за ваш звонок – до свидания.
    These answering machine messages are the type that most people leave. These can be used for non-business or personal phones. Hi, you've reached ___-____. Please leave a message and I'll get back with you soon. Thanks. You know what to do. Thanks for calling. Just leave a …

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    It’s a good practice for each of your team members to have their own personal business phone numbers. There are many reasons why they shouldn’t use their personal cell phone number for business, so you’ll want to give them their own phone number through your VoIP provider or phone system.

    Hello! Thanks for calling [LinkedPhone’s Customer Success Team]. We are currently helping other customers achieve their goals and want to do the same for you! Please leave a message with your name, number, and a brief description of how we can serve you. We promise to return your call [before close of business today]. In the interim, you can also check out our website at [linkedphone.com] for helpful answers to our most common requests. Thank you.
    Education Details: Business Voicemail Greetings. Chances are, you have your business contact numbers listed on your website and other public platforms. You will need to create a professional voicemail greeting to greet your customers. Here are some business voicemail greeting samples you can use: 1. "Hi, you have reached (company name). answering machine greetings audio

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    Your voicemail message should ideally answer all of the following requirements: Brief -- nothing bores callers as much (or makes them hang up as often) as long voicemail messages Informative -- if it's your professional voicemail, say your name, business, and if necessary, department.

    For pure salaciousness, it's hard to top the tape of "A Single Woman." It says: "Hi. I'm tied up at the moment. Please leave your name and number. I'll call you when I'm freed."
    What happens here is when you apologize and sound genuine in your tone, your prospects would understand and leave their contact details for you to follow with them.

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Website: https://www.onsip.com/voip-resources/smb-tips/business-voicemail-greetings-5-sample-scripts

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You’re growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message.

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