When you leave a voicemail do not use your full name because that immediately raises a red flat that you are a salesperson making a cold call. Instead, say your first name only followed by your company name. This will make your customer feel that you are much more familiar with each other than you really are. Saying your last name would defeat the whole purpose of demonstrating familiarity.
You may additionally want to bear in mind that people might be calling you from their cellphones, and a long message can use up someone’s valuable cellphone minutes. Some voicemail systems have the option of pressing a key like the pound key to immediately start recording a message; you may want to consider the funny or long message only if you have this option available to callers. Another point of consideration when recording an answering machine greeting is who is likely to call. If you’re job hunting, for instance, you may want to drop the funny salutation for a while, and use a more standard and businesslike greeting, unless you’re applying for jobs as a comic. Is Amazon actually giving you the best price? This little known plugin reveals the answer. Some answering machines utilize cassette tapes.

You can also use the Slydial app for iOS or Android. Create a free account with the service, then choose a contact through the app or manually enter a phone number. Once the app has connected the call, leave a voicemail, and hang up when you're finished.
Hello, you have reached X (service provider). Unfortunately, all our agents are engaged in talking to other customers. You can stay online or to resolve something urgent, try our live chat service. You also have the option of leaving your name, ID and number and our agents will revert to you at the earliest.